“If you decide you want to get married, Mackenzie-someday-it should be to a guy like Han.”
Mackenzie turns her head from Drew to me, like she’s watching a match at Wimbledon.
“He’s selfish and egotistical. Always running off in his space cruiser-“
“That’s the Millennium Falcon to you,” Drew interrupts.
I ignore his correction. “And he’s obviously a playboy! A womanizer. Why would you want Mackenzie with someone like that?”
“Correction: he was a womanizer. Until he met Leia. She changed him. And Mackenzie-like Leia-is going to be smart, strong, and powerful. She’ll eat a weakling like Luke for breakfast. Han, on the other hand, will keep up with her. Keep her satisfied.”
He smirks-in that way that makes my stomach tighten-as he adds, “Like us.”
I smile teasingly. “But I’m never satisfied. I always want more.”
Drew’s voice drops suggestively. “I guess I’ll have to work harder, then.”
And just like that, we’re in Lust Land. Get used to it-it happens often. Our gazes lock, and our mouths gravitate towards each other. Don’t worry about Mackenzie; it’s nothing she hasn’t seen before.
Drew is big on the PDAs. Because when it comes to affection-and everything, for that matter-he’s impatient and spoiled. So if he wants to touch me, kiss me? He does. And he really doesn’t give a damn who’s around at the time.
It can be a real turn-on-or incredibly frustrating, depending on the circumstances.
Before our lips touch, the phone rings. And Mackenzie’s blond head pops up between us.
“I’ll get it!”
Alexandra said she’s really into answering the phone lately.
“Evans-Brooks res-dance?”
Has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?
She listens to the receiver, then turns to Drew. “Uncle Drew, it the doorman. He say there a package for you.”
“Tell him to sign for it, and I’ll pick it up later.”
She does. Then she listens again and says, “He say it per-ish-able.”
Drew’s brow furrows, wondering what it could be. “Okay. Tell him to send it up.”
Drew pauses the movie. Before he stands, he picks up my hand and kisses it softly. And his eyes promise more to come.
This is our first clothed weekend. And although I adore Mackenzie, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t looking forward to some non-G-rated activity later on. Yes-my name is Kate, and I am a newly indoctrinated sex addict.
But come on, look at the man. Can you blame me?
Drew opens the door, and a uniformed man hands him a clipboard before sliding a large cardboard box-with holes on top-through the doorway. Drew signs, looks down at the box, and kicks it with his foot. “What’s in-“
Before he can finish, a chorus of sounds emerges from the box.
Meows.
Mackenzie’s jaw drops as she runs forward. “It sounds like kittens!” She takes the lid off the box. “It is! Is a whole box full of kittens!”
Is it ever. I stand up and peer inside. Eight kittens, to be exact.
Drew looks accusingly at the deliveryman. “What the fuck is this?”
“These are your foster kittens.”
“My what?!”
Kitten Man checks the clipboard. “Drew Evans, right?”
He nods.
“You signed up to be an animal foster parent. These are your wards for the next four to six weeks.”
Drew is already shaking his head. “I didn’t sign up for shit. I hate cats-they’re Satan’s pets.”
Kitten Man hands Drew the clipboard. “That’s not what it says here.”
By this time, Mackenzie is cooing and petting the box of meowing fur. And I cover my mouth to keep from laughing.
Have you figured it out yet?
“I’m going to kill her. I swear to God! I’m gonna be an only child by the time this day is over!”
That’s when I start laughing. Loudly. As I ask him, “What did you expect? You had a farm animal delivered to her condo on Christmas morning.”
“That was a gift! This is just mean.”
Drew hands the clipboard back to Kitten Man. “Take them back. There’s been a mix up. They can’t stay.”
Kitten Man looks disappointed. “That’s too bad. Without you, these little guys will be euthanized by the end of the day.”
Big round blue eyes stare up at Drew.
“What eufanized mean, Uncle Drew?”
Drew looks at her sad little face for about five seconds. Then he lowers his head in defeat. “Goddamn it.”
I smile at Mackenzie. “It means the kittens are staying, sweetie.”
“Yippee!” She starts taking them out of the box one by one.
Kitten Man turns to go. “Happy Holidays. God bless you.”
Drew scowls. “Yeah, yeah. Happy fucking New Year.”
Then he kicks the door closed.
“I’m gonna name you Nala, and you Simba, and you Fluffy, and you Muffy…and I’m gonna call you Drew Junior! He look like Uncle Drew, don’t he, Aunt Kate?”
Oh yeah-I’m already Aunt Kate. How great is that?
“He does. He’s very handsome and seems smart too. Don’t you think, Drew?”
He’s still pouting. “Yeah. Fantastic. Hey, here’s an idea-let’s take Drew Junior and his buddies down to the Hudson River and see if they can swim?”
I saunter towards my boyfriend. “You don’t want to do that.”With Mackenzie’s focus still on the kittens, I slide my hand under Drew’s T-shirt and scrape my nails over his abs.
That gets his attention.
“I don’t?”
I keep my voice low. “Nope. Because rescuing poor defenseless animals gets me really …hot.”
Drew raises his brows. “How hot?”
I lick my lips. He watches.
“Very. I’ll probably need you to cool me down with…ice cubes…or whipped cream…”
He puts his hands on my hips and pulls me forward. “Mmmm. Maybe…kittens have their good points after all.”
I smile and nod. And then our mouths are joined. I wrap my arms around his neck, and my feet leave the floor as Drew lifts me up.
Just as his tongue comes out to play, Mackenzie calls out, “Uncle Drew! Simba went pee-pee on the rug!”
He sighs. And presses his forehead against mine.
“I’m sending The Bitch the bill when I get these carpets cleaned. No…better…I’ll have them replaced. That’ll bite her in the ass.”
I don’t want him too focused on a war with his sister. Not when there are so many other-more enjoyable-things he could be focusing on.
New Book: Back Home to Marry Off Myself
Loredana’s father left the family for his mistress, leaving them to fend for themselves abroad. When life was at its toughest, her father showed up with “good news” after 8 years of absence: To marry off Loredana to a paralyzed son of the wealthy Mendelsohn family.