A smile comes to my lips. “And then he did. Laughing and loud and bigger than life. I ran to him and-even before he hugged my mother-he scooped me up and spun me around. Carried me on his shoulder like Tiny fucking Tim. And it felt . . . magical. Like real Christmas magic. And I was so . . . proud of myself. Because I thought my wish brought him home.”
I blink, snapping out of my reverie. And I gaze down at Mackenzie. “Out of all the Christmases I enjoyed as a kid . . . that one . . . that one was the best.”
“But you forgot about it?”
That’s how it happens, right? You grow up, and the wonder of the holidays fades. It becomes more of a burden-places to go, traffic, gifts that have to be found and bought. And you forget the little things, the simple moments that are supposed to make a regular day-more.
“Yeah. I guess I did.”
It’s only when I glance up from Mackenzie’s face that I realize we’re not in that small apartment anymore. We’re back in my office. My head swims a little-like vertigo. I sit down on the suede couch until it passes. I glance at my watch, and it’s the same time as before Mackenzie walked through my door. Still two hours to go before my conference.
“Do you know why I showed you this particular memory tonight?” Mackenzie asks me.
I snort. “To demonstrate I’m obviously more like my father than I ever realized?”
She shakes her head. “No. I showed you this because moments matter. You may not have remembered it, but it still played a part in who you grew up to be. And how you felt about Christmas, your dad, and in some ways, yourself. It’s the little things, all added together, that make us who we are. So now that you remember, what are you going to do, Uncle Drew?”
I rub the back of my neck. “I’ll . . . I’ll find a way to make it up to James after Christmas. Maybe take him to a basketball game for some quality time. Just the two of us.”
Mackenzie sighs. And she seems disappointed. It’s similar to how Kate looks at me when she comes home from the salon and I’m not excited by the fact that she trimmed off a whole quarter of an inch.
Like . . . I’m missing something.
“Well,” she laments, “it’s time for me to go.”
Even though I’m still sure this is a dream-I’m not taking any chances. “Hold on, sweetheart. I can’t leave yet. Hang out here with me and I’ll get you home when I’m done.”
She sits down on the couch. “Okay, Uncle Drew. Whatever you say.”
I head back around my desk, sit, and refocus all my attention on my presentation.
chapter 4
Mackenzie plays quietly on her phone while I work. She’s mature and considerate like that. After a half hour I glance at the couch to thank her-and see that she’s fucking gone.
I shoot to my feet. “Mackenzie?” When there’s no answer, I rush for the door. Flinging it open I call, “Mack-“
I actually said her full name, but you couldn’t hear it.
Because the blaring of “Angels We Have Heard on High” drowned out my voice. And if that wasn’t loud enough, there’s the echo of bells jingling in the background, the hum of a dozen audio-animatronic elves, reindeer and headless gingerbread men scattered around-and let’s not forget the crunch and whistle of falling snow.
Yes, actual snow-inside my goddamn office building.
The main floor outside the offices has been transformed into a winter wonderland.
I just stand there. Stunned.
But I have to say, this beats the shit out of anything the mall has ever come up with.
Then my sister, Alexandra, comes walking around the corner. She’s decked out in elegant holiday finery-a red, strapless satin dress, black heels, her hair piled high on her head, with a pearl tiara nestled in the blond curls.
She surveys the room. “God, I’m good.”
I cross my arms and lean back against a snow-covered desk. “A little overdone, don’t you think?”
Alexandra raises her shoulder. “If you can’t overdo Christmas, what can you overdo?” Then she regards me with bright green eyes.
And I deduce, “You’re not here to pick up your daughter, are you?”
“No, my daughter is safe and sound. Why do you think I’m here, little brother?”
“I’m starting to think it’s because every member of my family has been body snatched by green-eyed aliens hell-bent on keeping me from getting any fucking work done.”
She shakes her head. “Even your alien invasion theories are egomaniacal.”
I push off from the desk. “All right, let’s go. The sooner we do this, the sooner I can get back to my desk.” And I can’t keep the sarcasm out of my voice. “Show me your vision, Christmas ghost. Teach me the error of my ways.”
Alexandra scowls. And checks out her manicure. “Now I’m not in the mood.”
I grit my teeth. “Alexandra . . .”
“I don’t like to be rushed, Drew. You have to invest the time-smell the holly bush, get the full experience. I’m not some wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am.”
My face contorts. “I certainly hope not. That’s fucking gross.”
“The heavens have chosen to intercede on your behalf!” She stomps her foot. “To help you. A little gratitude would be nice.”
I pinch my nose, breathe deep, and compose myself. Because the spirit bitch is obviously in a tormenting mood, like a cat toying with a mouse before it’s devoured. Trying to wriggle out from under her paw will only prolong it. My best option is to just give in. Play dead.
Submit.
“I apologize for being flippant, Alexandra. Thank you for taking the time tonight to educate me. I’m truly fortunate to have a sister and heavenly angel who care so much for my emotional well-being.”
Her head bobs side to side, weighing my sincerity. “And do you like the decorations?” she asks petulantly.
I smile. “The decorations are lovely.”
Alexandra’s expression slides toward appeasement. “And the music?”
“One of my favorite songs-a classic.”
She grins teasingly. “I worked really hard on the snow.”
Submission isn’t my forte.
“Goddamn it, Lex!”
She holds her hands up. “Okay, okay.” She straightens and clasps my hand. “Come with me.”
Together we walk to Steven’s office. Instinctively, I close my eyes as we step through the doorway. Then I open them.
“This is . . . this is your apartment,” I state.
My sister’s condo has the typical regal appointments of an exclusive and ultraexpensive New York City living space. Panoramic views, high ceilings, detailed dark wood moldings, shiny, pristine marble floors. But there’s a warmth to it-earth-toned walls, comfy couches, colorful throw pillows, children’s framed artwork-that makes it a family friendly home.
“Brilliant observation, as always,” she returns.
“When is this?” I ask.
Alexandra’s eyes turn sympathetic. “This is tonight. At this very moment. These are the memories you won’t be a part of.”
We go into the family room, where all the familiar faces are congregated. There’s my father, in a black suit and red tie, with a ridiculous Santa hat on his head, talking to Frank Fisher-my father’s lifelong friend and business partner-at the wet bar. He pours apple cider into a shot glass for Mackenzie, who’s perched on a stool between the two men. A small smile comes to my lips as I gaze at my mom, who looks a couple of decades older than her earlier incarnation, but every bit as beautiful-this time in a simple red dress and black pumps. She’s chatting with my sister on the couch. On the far side of the room is my brother-in-law, Steven, his blue eyes sparkling with pride behind his dark-rimmed glasses as he bends his head to hear what his son, Thomas, tells him. They stand in front of the Ping-Pong table-our latest family get-together pastime. They’re getting ready to play my best friend, Matthew Fisher, and his five-year-old son, Michael, as they stand on the other side of the table, looking a little like twins with their short light brown hair and similar button-down green shirts.
Adjacent to the table is a love seat, where Matthew’s wife and Kate’s best friend, Delores “Dee-Dee” Warren, is seated, surprisingly wearing one of her lower-key outfits-a short red leather skirt, a snug white striped sweater, and glowing, dangly Santa Claus earrings.
Next to Dee is Kate, and I can’t take my eyes off of her.
An elegant long-sleeved black velvet dress hugs her in all the right places, her dark, shiny hair falls over her shoulder in waves, and open-toe green heels encase her feet. Three-carat diamond earrings-earrings I gave her for our second wedding anniversary-glitter on her ears. She’s flawless. And so gorgeous I actually feel my chest tighten with a mixture of pride and ever-present desire.
It’s the perfect family gathering. Evergreens and bows add a holiday flair to the decor, Christmas music plays cheerfully in the background, and dozens of delicious-smelling dishes rest on a buffet table, waiting to be uncovered. It’s a modernized version of an idyllic Norman Rockwell image-the entire room is alive with laughter and joyful chatter. Everyone’s happy to be there, everyone’s having a good time.
Everyone except my son, James.
He’s unusually quiet, sitting on the recliner next to the love seat. His dark brown eyes alternate between watching the Ping-Pong match and glancing down the hall toward the front door.
Steven, who’s always been attuned to how others are feeling, nudges James with his elbow. “What do you say, buddy? You want to be on Thomas’s and my team? We could use another man.”
My five-year-old son smiles genuinely and glances down at the two Ping-Pong paddles in his hands. “That’s okay, Uncle Steven-I’m gonna wait for my daddy. I’ll be on his team.”
And doesn’t that just make me feel like two cents’ worth of shit. Because he’s completely unaware that I have no intention of showing up.
James’s words immediately grab Kate’s attention, and she crouches down in front of him. “Honey, remember I told you Daddy had to work tonight? He didn’t want to, but he had to. I don’t think he’s going to be here to play Ping-Pong.”
James smiles at her reassuringly. “Yeah, I remember, but he’ll come after he’s done working. I know he will. He’ll make it in time.”
Kate’s eyes cloud with worry, because she doesn’t want our little boy disappointed. Not on Christmas Eve. And sure as hell not because of his father.
New Book: Back Home to Marry Off Myself
Loredana’s father left the family for his mistress, leaving them to fend for themselves abroad. When life was at its toughest, her father showed up with “good news” after 8 years of absence: To marry off Loredana to a paralyzed son of the wealthy Mendelsohn family.