I drew Savannah to my chest and wrapped my arms around her, keeping her as close as possible.
A throat cleared beside us. When I released Savannah, Leo was there holding a hockey stick. “I may not have been part of Team USA’s development team like some, but I know how to play a little … if you’re game?” Savannah laughed, and I couldn’t help the crack of a smile that tugged on my lips.
“You sure you’re not too old?” I said, feeling a flare of lightness pass through my body as I cracked that joke.
Leo pointed the end of the stick at me. “For that, I won’t go easy on you.”
“Clear the yard!” Travis shouted, overhearing the challenge and positioning the nets at either end. He placed a ball in the center. I moved to it for the face-off. I looked over at Savannah on the sidelines, and she had a hand over her heart and tears in her eyes as she watched me.
That girl was perfect.
Leo smiled at me competitively, and then Travis blew a whistle he had found in the shed. And I was off. For the next twenty minutes, sweat dripping down my face and back, I wiped the floor with Leo, running around the yard, stick in hand and sinking the ball into the net so many times I lost count. I mourned the lack of ice and skates on my feet, the bite of coldness on my skin. But I felt more myself in that moment than I had in over a year.
Leo bent down, a wave of surrender cast in the air. But I didn’t stop. Even as the kids went back into the school for class, I stayed out on that yard, practicing until I was exhausted and the sun was threatening to give me sunstroke.
Savannah and our friends stayed and watched me. I think they saw how important this moment was to me. I didn’t mind the audience. I was so in my head, it felt like it was just me and the stick again.
I missed it.
I missed this.
Then the kids came running out when school finished. Jacob immediately approached me. He was still nervous but said, “Will you be back?”
“Tomorrow?” I said, and Jacob smiled. He ran to a woman who I assumed was his mom. She gave a small wave. It made me think of my mom. How she would travel everywhere with us for hockey. She was a great mom and I missed her. Dad too. They’d only ever wanted what was best for me. I’d been texting them every day. Opening up more. Growing closer again day by day.
A hand landed on the middle of my back. Savannah. “Are you ready to go?” she asked. I nodded, a little numb from the day. She helped me put the equipment away, then took my hand.
I didn’t lead her to the cabins we were staying in. Instead, I led her to the beach. The sun was lowering, and the day had lost the harsh sting of its heat and left only a balmy breeze.
Releasing Savannah’s hand, I walked straight into the sea, ducking my body and head under the calm waves. I washed the sweat from my body, out of my hair, and when I crested the water, Savannah was ankle-deep in the water at the shore.
Her head was tipped back as she basked in the setting sun, something she always did. Without her noticing, I crept closer to where she stood. Playing hockey again had brought a lightness to my chest. Remembering Cillian in a good way had chased some of the darkness from my soul.
I was mere inches from Savannah. She looked down just as I wrapped my arms around her waist and dragged her into the deeper water. I held on tight as we crashed under the surface. Then, I lifted her out of the waves, keeping tight hold of my girl.
“Cael!” she shouted, gripping my neck. She took a deep breath and wiped water from her face. I couldn’t help it, but I laughed. I laughed from the very depths of my heart. Savannah laughed too, stopping only to place her hand on my cheek, a wide smile remaining on her face. And those goddamn dimples popped …
“I love it when you laugh,” she said as we waded in the warm water. “And I adored watching you play today.” She pushed my hair from my face. Ran her finger over my nose ring and lip ring. “You’re amazing, Cael.” She sobered, then said, “I hope I get to see you play on ice someday.”
My laughter fell, but I wasn’t upset or angry. I just didn’t know how to respond. “Did I push too far?” she said, worry infusing her sweet accent, making it stronger. I could listen to her talk all day.
“You didn’t,” I said and kissed a falling drop of water off the side of her neck. Savannah blushed again, her freckles appearing in their thousands from being under so much sun. She ran her hands through my hair again. Her touch always made me feel better.
“I think … I think I might want to,” I said. I huffed a humorless laugh. “But I don’t know if it’s too late. I just walked away from my junior team and I didn’t even contact Harvard. I just refused to go.” I met her blue eyes. They matched the color of the sea. “My parents explained it to the coach, of course. But—” I sighed. “I was unprofessional.”
“You were—
are
—grieving. Anyone who doesn’t understand that is not worth your time. Harvard hockey would be lucky to have you on the team next year. You’re incredible.”
I smirked at the fierceness in her voice. Then I sighed again. “I’m still working on the hockey thing. I need a little more time.”
“Okay,” she said simply, and I kissed her. I couldn’t help it with how beautiful she looked right now. When I pulled back, she asked, “What was your jersey number?”
“Eighty-seven,” I said. I ran my hand up and down her back. “Cillian was number thirty-three.”
She smiled, probably because I’d given her another detail about my brother. I kissed her again and said, “You were great with the kids today.”
Savannah sighed. “You think?”
“I
know,” I said, then asked, “Are you worried about this leg of the trip?”
“Yes,” she said honestly. The sunset glittered on the water around us, reflecting in her eyes and wet hair. It made her look like an angel. “I know whatever they have planned for us is going to hurt. Badly, I imagine.”
A pang of apprehension pulled in my stomach. She was right. We knew these coming weeks would be tough. But we’d gotten this far. And I wanted to keep going. I pulled Savannah tighter in my arms. “For now, we can just enjoy being here.”
Savannah pressed her forehead to mine. “I’ll enjoy being wherever you are.”
That sentiment was shared.
Harrowing Stories and Doused Anger
New Book: Back Home to Marry Off Myself
Loredana’s father left the family for his mistress, leaving them to fend for themselves abroad. When life was at its toughest, her father showed up with “good news” after 8 years of absence: To marry off Loredana to a paralyzed son of the wealthy Mendelsohn family.