all cancer
—is curable. I want it. So much.”
With every word spoken, my voice became stronger.
I became stronger. I wanted this so badly that I knew I’d be going to Harvard this fall. I’d be pre-med, and I wouldn’t stop until no other family had to lose a Poppy, a Tala. Lose a treasured branch of their family tree.
“I can do this,” I said to Mia. “I
know I can.” I smiled and said, “Because I’ll have Poppy in my heart.”
Mia’s eyes shone and she held me in her arms. “I’m so proud of you, my girl.”
“Thank you,” I whispered.
The truth was, I was proud of me too. And I was immeasurably proud of Poppy for making me see this. For her journal, pushing me and holding me through the pages when I didn’t have her arms to embrace me in real life. And I was proud of Tala, for allowing me this gift—of speaking to her, of helping me find my inner strength when I thought it had been lost. I was honored I’d met her.
I left the hospital with a new determination in my step and a sense of purpose in my heart. I would take on whatever came next with gratitude in my heart. Because I had a light I could share with the world. Just like Poppy had. We shared the same blood. What ran through her ran through me.
I would do this for us both.
Thoughtful Gestures and Music Reborn
Savannah
Manila, The Philippines
A few days later
IT WAS OUR LAST NIGHT IN THE P
HILIPPINES. T
HIS HAD BEEN THE MOST emotional and difficult country on our trip. I was still raw from my talk with Tala, but my determination had held strong. I knew I wouldn’t waver from what I wanted from my life. I was going to be a doctor. I was steadfast in that ambition.
It didn’t mean I wasn’t emotionally rocked by meeting the children who were sick and those who were dying. From talking to Tala about her final days and what came afterward.
I’d meant what I’d said. I would look for her in the stars the same way I did Poppy. And the way I now looked for Cillian.
Tonight, we were in Manila. Tomorrow, we would fly to Japan. Mia and Leo had told us last night where our final country would be. I was breathless when they’d revealed that. Because it was the beginning of spring. And in Japan, that meant one thing—cherry blossoms would be blooming.
Poppy had always wanted to see Japan and the cherry blossoms. It wasn’t lost on me that I would be ending my trip to healing among the flowers she had so loved.
“Are you ready?” I turned my head to the doorway of my hotel room. Cael stood there, in a long-sleeve button-up shirt, the top few buttons undone, and smart black pants. His hair had been styled—free of his beanie. His stubbled cheeks were cleanly shaved, and I could smell his sea-salt and fresh snow scent from where I sat. I swallowed at just how truly handsome he was.
“Cael,” I said. “You look stunning.” I felt my cheeks blaze. That was one thing I knew I would never shed—my easy embarrassment.
Cael’s array of tattoos stood proudly off his sun-kissed skin. A small spattering of freckles decorated his nose, making his silver nose ring and lip ring stand out even more.
His arms were crossed over his torso as he leaned against the door, but his silver-blue gaze was soft as it landed upon me. I stood from the vanity seat and ran my hands down the pale-blue summer dress I wore. My hair was down in soft waves, and I had kitten-heel sandals upon my feet. Golden stud earrings were in my ears, and I’d even applied a small layer of makeup to my face.
I went to lift my head, to ask how I looked, but before I could, Cael’s arms wrapped around me, pulling me into his strong embrace. With his mouth at my ear, he said, “Shit, Peaches, you look incredible.” My cheeks blazed, but a wide smile pulled on my mouth.
Cael reared back and pushed my hair from my face. He searched each of my features and rasped, “I’ll never understand how the hell you took a chance on me. But I’ll never stop being grateful.”
“Baby,” I murmured as he kissed my forehead, each of my cheeks, and finally, my lips. He didn’t even seem to mind the lip gloss that I had applied. He kissed me deeply, thoroughly, his gentle tongue meeting with mine. Cael’s hands wrapped into my hair, and he kept me flush against his chest. He treasured me in every way possible.
If there was one thing I now knew in this world, it was how it felt to be loved. To be adored. To be held in both your weakest and strongest moments.
I knew what a soulmate truly was.
When Cael stepped back, he threaded our hands together. He studied me for so long, I grew goose bumps along the nape of my neck. “I hope you know how much I love you,” he whispered. My heart bloomed like a flower in spring, but there was a hint of sadness in my soul that mirrored the sorrow that remained in Cael’s raspy voice, in his gait.
His shoulders weren’t as straight as usual, his wide smiles had disappeared, and his laughter had become nonexistent. He’d been working tirelessly with Leo for the past few days. But the fact of the matter was, Cael had been set back some by his exposure therapy.
No, not set back; put on the right path. But it was immensely difficult for him, and I wished every day that I could take his pain away.
I breathed slightly easier now. Cael’s breaths were labored. I had watched him last night when we were with our friends and felt myself panicking. He’d been so reserved, so distant that I knew the others noticed it too. He had never been very talkative, but lately, he was mostly silent and withdrawn. The past few days it felt like we were in different places with our grief. I saw that in the group too. Five of us were changing—healthier mentally, emotionally. Cael had fallen behind, and it was the hardest thing to witness.
“Are you okay?” I said, gently tracing my finger over his lip ring. I loved the feel of it against my own lips when we kissed. Cael’s light gaze fell to the ground. When he looked back up at me, his eyes were racked with pain.
“I’m just sad, Peaches,” he said quietly. “I’m just …” He exhaled a long breath. “I’m just really fucking sad.”
“I know,” I said and wrapped my arms around him. I thought I felt a tear fall on my shoulder, but when Cael lifted his head, his eyes were wiped clean. “Are you able to go to this meal tonight?” I asked. Mia and Leo had set up dinner at a local restaurant. A rare night away from the heavy counseling this leg of the trip had provided.
New Book: Back Home to Marry Off Myself
Loredana’s father left the family for his mistress, leaving them to fend for themselves abroad. When life was at its toughest, her father showed up with “good news” after 8 years of absence: To marry off Loredana to a paralyzed son of the wealthy Mendelsohn family.