“Which is why I hate that my mind immediately tries to connect your request with the timing of Rick ignoring me.”
My brain jerked to a halt as I processed her words.
“Wh-what do you mean?”
“I’m going to ask you this once, Molly. Did something inappropriate happen that Rick doesn’t want me to know about? That you don’t want me to know about, which is why you don’t want to be present for the filming anymore? If someone tried something or has made you feel uncomfortable, then I want to know about it.”
I shook my head, stunned at the turn of the conversation. “I promise you, I’m not asking because anyone is making me feel uncomfortable.”
“So the contract hasn’t been violated?”
My mouth opened. Closed. If I admitted what happened between me and Noah, everything I’d worked for, that he’d slowly started creating here, would be gone in an instant. “No, Beatrice.”
Oh, shit. It was out of my mouth. My stomach curdled dangerously, but she seemed to believe me.
Her face was hard, but her eyes were kind as her shoulders relaxed. “I’m sorry that I have to ask this, and that this is the culture we live in, but I understand what it’s like to be a young woman surrounded by powerful, influential men. The absolute last thing I will tolerate is someone taking advantage of your desire to gain my approval.”
And that only made me feel worse.
Guilt was so much more insidious than you realized before the lie slipped out of your mouth. It promised that everything would be fine. She’d never find out, and everything was better this way.
But instead, I was faced with the realization that she wasn’t pushing it because she didn’t believe me. She wanted to make sure I was safe.
I held up a hand. “Beatrice, please, I promise you that I would never put up with the kind of treatment you’re talking about. If anyone under this roof so much as looked at me in a way that was disrespectful, my brother would rip their head off.”
By the downturn in her mouth, maybe that wasn’t the best answer, given what her initial opinion of me was, but it was the truth.
“And I know this gains me no favors, but I won’t deny it either. A lot of the veteran players have known me for ten years. They were rookies when Logan retired, and now he’s their coach. They all love me like I’m part of their family. And Allie Sutton-Pierson is my sister-in-law’s best friend. Trust me, not only do I have about as good of a work support system in this place that anyone could ever ask for, but I know how to put my kneecap between any guy’s legs in a way that would have him singing soprano for a month.”
Beatrice exhaled a restrained laugh and relaxed a bit as she let her smile fall. “I get it. And you’re right, it’s hard for me to get over the fact that you’re so entrenched into the fabric of this place, but …” She shook her head. “But I know now that you don’t use it as a crutch. You’re a hard worker, Molly. And I’m proud to be your boss.”
My eyes burned, my throat swelling with emotion. “Thank you.”
“Please don’t cry,” she said dryly.
I laughed. “Yes, ma’am.”
“I may have handled you wrong from the get-go, Molly, and I can’t promise that I won’t make more mistakes.”
“You didn’t handle me wrong,” I argued. “You had every right to be wary.”
“No, it was unprofessional of me to start off on that foot, and even worse when I ambushed you about your past with Noah.”
A rock sank heavy in my gut, slicing neatly through the pride and warm happiness I’d felt just moments earlier, my skin going cold and prickly as it did.
She kept going. “Obviously, certain situations warrant a strong warning, but this isn’t one of them.”
My lips stretched in a tight smile. “Obviously.”
“If you’re telling me that this request to shift your schedule isn’t born from that, from some situation that you don’t want anyone to know about, then I’ll trust you. Because you’ve earned that.”
I felt two inches tall.
This wasn’t the way I wanted her to believe in me. Believe that I was worthy of her respect and trust.
“So,” she continued, “if you’ll accept my apology, then let’s take this as a fresh start, shall we?”
I found myself nodding weakly. “Apology accepted,” I said quietly.
Beatrice nodded back. “Good. Let me know if Rick has any problems with the change in your role, will you?”
“I will.”
On autopilot, I walked back to my office and sank heavily in the chair. I sent an email carefully worded to outline the changes to Rick, and I cc’d Marty. And just before I sent it, I added Noah as well.
After I’d hit the button, I read it over again, trying to reconcile, yet again, the whole concept of smart versus right.
Sleeping with Noah wasn’t smart. But it felt so right.
Separating myself from him now that we were back was smart. But it felt wrong.
Falling in love with him … the jury was still out on whether it was smart or right.
Every cell in my body was wailing dangerously from the wrongness. That was how strong my desire was to seek him out somewhere in these black and red hallways.
My cell phone rang in my hand, Noah’s name appearing like I’d summoned him. I exhaled shakily and then drew a fortifying breath before I picked up the call.
“This is Molly.”
“What the hell is that email?”
I sat back in my chair. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me. What the hell is that email about?”
Quickly, I stood from my chair and went to close my office door. “You can read just fine, Noah. I don’t need to explain it to you.”
He made a sound of muted frustration. “I just don’t … I get that it’ll be difficult to be around each other for a little bit now that we’re home, but that will fade. It doesn’t mean you need to hide.”
“I’m not hiding,” I said fiercely.
Liar, liar, pants on fire.
“Bullshit.”
“This has been a really fun chat, Noah. Thanks for calling.”
He sighed. “I’m sorry.” He gentled his voice. The sound of it, oh, I had to press my hand to my chest from what it did to my insides. “I’m frustrated, okay? I didn’t think you’d disappear after what happened. Practice today was shitty, and your brother cursed my ass out for not paying attention this close to preseason, and all I could do was keep watching the doors to see if you’d show up. And it’s not your fault that I couldn’t pay attention, but hell, Molly, I didn’t expect to come out of the locker room to that email saying you won’t be around at all.”
I sank back in my chair as I processed what he was saying. And what he wasn’t.
In the span of one day, I’d gotten everything I thought I wanted.
Beatrice’s approval and Noah’s notice.
And it felt all wrong.
I didn’t want to make his life harder. I didn’t want him to screw up at practice because of me. I didn’t want him to be frustrated about it, upset that his attention was split in this way, because he’d never tried to balance his focus before. The only thing that would do was make him resent me.
New Book: Back Home to Marry Off Myself
Loredana’s father left the family for his mistress, leaving them to fend for themselves abroad. When life was at its toughest, her father showed up with “good news” after 8 years of absence: To marry off Loredana to a paralyzed son of the wealthy Mendelsohn family.