I found my phone in my purse, battery dangerously low considering I hadn’t plugged it in the night before, and I saw a text from Claire that had me smiling.
Claire: If you think I didn’t notice that your Find my Friends location stayed in Shepperton last night, you’re friggin’ crazy. ARE YOU SLEEPING WITH HIM AGAIN? The stupid happy in love side of me is dying for details.
Claire: Also, I’m gonna give you a deadline for telling everyone because I saw Finn and almost slipped again and HAVE I MENTIONED I’M BAD AT LYING.
Me: Not sleeping with him, though we did sleep last night. Just sleep. They lost their match and he had that “I’m a big tough athlete and I bear the mental burden of the team’s poor performance” face (you know the one) and the cuddling that happened after was not planned, trust me. He made me a french fry sandwich, and it just … happened.
Claire: I do know that face. Good morning.
Me: It’s late there, why are you up??? Good morning. I miss you.
Claire: I miss you too. Working on some curriculum stuff for a new reading program at the youth center, and I didn’t want to stop. I’m off tomorrow and can sleep. Did you really just sleep? (I’m giving you the serious eyes)
Me: Yes. Fully clothed cuddling. He wanted to kiss me, though.
Claire: And you resisted? I’m impressed. I DO know that face, and it’s potent. Bauer had that face after he fell in one of his last competitions. I shocked myself a bit with what I was willing to do to make it go away when we got home. There were props involved.
Me: OMG STOP. Don’t want to know.
Claire: Lia, seriously, when are you going to tell them? You’ve known you’re pregnant for weeks. Don’t be afraid of their reactions, okay? They love you. Everyone here just wants what’s best for you. And don’t be afraid of what comes next. That’s what family is for. We’ll help you.
Sitting at Jude’s table, I stared at my phone and marveled over the fact that she could see through me, even this far away. There was comfort in that consistency, even if it still terrified me to try to figure out what came next.
“Good morning,” Jude grumbled, walking into the kitchen with a slight smile on his face. “Coffee? Tea?”
“Coffee would be great.”
He paused in the act of opening a cupboard. “You’re okay to drink it?”
I nodded. “A cup or two won’t hurt anything.”
“Right.”
He measured the grounds and added water to a very normal-looking coffee maker, the kind I used in my apartment back in Seattle.
My old apartment, I mentally corrected. The one that wasn’t waiting for me when I came back. That pit opened up again, and I kicked it closed in my mind.
“You were smiling awfully big for someone who hasn’t had caffeine yet,” he said.
“I was texting Claire.”
“That’s your twin sister, right?” he asked.
“Yeah.” When I sighed, he chuckled under his breath. “I miss her,” I admitted.
“That’ll happen.”
While I watched him move around his kitchen with such ease, I tucked my knees up against my chest and thought of all the things I didn’t know about Jude.
“I haven’t even told my family yet.”
Jude gave me a surprised look. “Why not?”
“Claire knows,” I amended. “But I think I’m running out of time on the rest of them.”
Before he said anything, he reached into a small cupboard and took out a small container, then two white plates. On the plate, he put a scone and set it on the table in front of me. Out of the fridge, he produced a container of jam, then clotted cream.
“They’ll want to know everything,” I explained. “How I feel and what I want and what’s going to happen …” My voice trailed off.
“What happens next is on you and me, yeah?” He took a seat across from me, sliding the cream and jam in my direction. “If we’re making our own rules and all.”
“Yeah.”
His eyebrows lifted. “You don’t sound sure of that.”
“I am.” I inhaled. “But a big family that’s also an opinionated family, and not just big and opinionated, but we’ve always walked through big life stuff together, you know? They’ll have thoughts. And I’ll know all of them in less than five minutes of dropping the proverbial bomb.”
“Ahh,” he answered carefully.
For a moment, I waited to see if he’d elaborate, but he simply stayed quiet.
“Is your family like that?” I asked casually.
“No.” He nudged the plate closer, my cue to stuff my face with more carbs. Like I needed encouragement there. “Compliments of Mrs. Atkinson,” he explained. “I try not to eat too many of them during the season, but I figure this is a good morning to indulge a bit.”
There was an undercurrent to his words, and a warmth in his tone as he said them, but in the wake of my messages from Claire, I wasn’t sure I was ready to explore what that was. Making our own rules was great and all, but I still didn’t know what the hell Jude and I really were. And for now, I was okay with that. So was he.
But even knowing that, Claire was right. I was afraid to tell my family because it meant I had to face all the questions when none of the questions had answers.
About me, me and the baby, me and Jude and the baby, and me and Jude. Separate categories with lots and lots of unanswered questions.
As I broke open the scone and spread the cream over the surface, followed by the jam, I thought about how rarely I needed to explain the dynamic of my family to someone who had no backstory.
“I’m going to tell them today.”
He watched me carefully. “All right.”
“Have you told your family yet?”
“No.”
I waited for him to elaborate. But again, it was just … that one word. There was no emotion in it, just like there was no change in his eyes or mouth. Huh.
The bite I took of the scone was indecently big, as was the moan that came out of my mouth as I chewed. His crooked grin in response was a whole lot of things. Endearing. Human. Sexy AF. I managed to swallow. “Holy shit, did she bake these?”
“I reckon she did, but she’ll never admit it if she didn’t.”
“If I could bake a scone like this, I’d tell everyone I’ve ever met in my entire life. Don’t ever fire her.”
Jude was so amused, eyes warm and dancing like I’d not seen them since that first night.
“Whu?” I asked, mouth full of happiness. His gaze, well … it was more loaded than my scone. And I had a lot of cream on that baby.
“I can’t remember the last time I gained so much pleasure from something so small.”
As I swallowed, I imagined that my cheeks were bright ass red. This guy had me flustered and quite easily. Normally, I was the fluster-er. With men. Or maybe, compared to Jude, they’d all been boys. There was no way for me to run circles around this man or outmaneuver him to get what I wanted.
And honestly, all I wanted was more stretches of time like the one we’d just had—uncomplicated snuggling, a little flirting, and a side of baked goods. I broke off a corner of the scone and held it out to him, pulling my fingers back when he tried to reach for it.
New Book: Back Home to Marry Off Myself
Loredana’s father left the family for his mistress, leaving them to fend for themselves abroad. When life was at its toughest, her father showed up with “good news” after 8 years of absence: To marry off Loredana to a paralyzed son of the wealthy Mendelsohn family.