A hand softly jerks my arm, tugging me out of a restless sleep. I crack open my bleary eyes, dry and irritated from the tears.
“Is she okay?” I ask instantly, not even fully awake yet, looking around to see my tired father sitting on the other couch, his face set in a frown.
Zade, Teddy, and Tanner stand before me, and I feel a tad like they’re evaluating a patient with the way they’re staring at me.
Teddy and his son look nearly identical. Both with soft green eyes, laugh lines, and square jawlines. The only difference is that Teddy has significantly grayer hair, and more wrinkles. Unlike Dr. Garrison, his presence is soothing, despite the words coming from his mouth.
“She’s not out of the woods yet,” Teddy answers gently. “The bullet just barely missed her heart, but thankfully, it went clean through and missed vital organs. She lost a lot of blood, and she’s still in danger of infection. She’s going to be out for some time, but I want you all to know you’re more than welcome to stay here,” he explains, casting a look at Dad.
I nod, though I find little relief. She’s alive, but that could easily change.
“Do I need to give her blood or something?” I rasp, my throat just as dry as my eyes.
“That’s okay, sweetheart. Your father is a match and kindly provided some, and I also have some bags of O negative stored if I should need it.”
Nodding again, I stand. “Can I see her?”
“Of course,” he acquiesces softly, lifting his arm to direct me forward.
“I’m going to check on Sibby,” Zade says, pointing over his shoulder.
Frowning, I ask, “How long has it been?” I don’t remember how long I cried for until I eventually fell asleep in Zade’s arms.
“Only about three hours. She’s still sitting outside on the doorstep waiting for her henchmen.”
Nodding, I turn and head for the room, heart in my throat. And when I open the door and see her lying there so still and pale, I nearly choke on it.
The machine next to her beeps, her heart rate steady for now. There’s a chair beside her already, assumingly where my dad was sitting. He stayed in the room with her the entire time, and I feel a little guilty for that, too. I should’ve stayed with them.
But even now, being in here is threatening to send me back into that place with Dr. Garrison. I slide my hands through my hair, gripping the strands tightly in an effort to ground me. To keep me present.
I’m safe. Zade is right outside. And there isn’t an evil doctor trying to kidnap me.
Blowing out a breath, I sit in the recliner, and grab my mother’s hand. It’s cool to the touch, but she feels… alive. Not cold and stiff like a corpse, which brings me a small amount of comfort.
“You want to know what really fucking sucks?” I begin softly. “When I came home, there were a few times you had asked me to talk about what I went through, and I could never find the words to describe the terror of waking up to men holding you hostage, threatening to kill you. The unknown if you’re going to live or die. I told you that you wouldn’t understand. But I suppose you know what that feels like now, huh?
“And then, you’d try to explain to me the terror you felt when I was gone and not knowing whether I would live or die. And you said I’d never understand that, either… But that’s also not true anymore, is it?”
My eyes begin to burn again, and I release her hand to rub at them with the heels of my palms, silently threatening myself to keep it together. I’m tired of crying. It’s fucking exhausting.
Once I feel like I have it somewhat together, I drop them and grab her hand again.
“I’m holding your hand, but you’re still gone. And I don’t know whether you’re ever going to wake up. So I feel it now. And that… that just really fucking sucks.”
I sniff, rubbing the pad of my thumb against her hand, not sure if I’m comforting her or myself at this point.
“Dad hates me now, too. So there’s that,” I whisper. “I’ve shacked up with a criminal.”
I sputter out a weak laugh. “I’m a criminal. And I suppose that might be the one thing Zade is responsible for. Turning me into a trained killer. But you know what? I like it. I like being able to protect myself now. And I like that I don’t feel so weak anymore. Does that make me a bad person?”
I pause, frowning. “Don’t answer that. You’re going to ask me to stop. And you’re going to tell me you want the old Addie back. But she’s gone, Mom. And I know Dad disapproves of the new version of me, but I hope one day, you both will relearn to love who I’ve become.”
A single tear breaks free, and I curse the drop for betraying me. I quickly wipe it away, sniffling again.
“I’ll understand if you can’t. Sometimes I struggle with loving myself, too. But you know the one person who will? Who will always love me unconditionally? It’s my criminal boyfriend. And don’t you think that’s just fucking admirable?”
I smile without humor. “I think it’s only fair if we try, though. You decided that when I came home, I was worth loving as a broken shell of a person. I think you can learn to love me as someone who is fierce and strong, right? So now, I want you to come home, and whatever version of yourself you wake up to be, and whatever version you grow into-I’ll love you, too.”
Chapter 40
The Diamond
“Let me talk to her,” I demand through the phone, plunging my trembling hand through my hair.
“Addie, I’m tired of having this conversation. It’s best you give your mother some space for now,” Dad answers, sounding exhausted.
“Then let’s stop having it!” I shout.
We’ve only been talking for one fucking minute, and it’s his own fault when he won’t give the phone to my mother. I’ve tried every day since she’s been home, and he won’t give in. I even went as far as driving there, but he wouldn’t let me in.
Teddy kept her for over a week, monitoring her and slowly nursing her back to health.
She was out cold nearly the entire time. And the few times she did wake, I don’t think she has much recollection of. She was mainly confused and disoriented, and in a lot of pain.
Dad, Zade, and I stayed by her side the entire week, while Sibby went home with her henchmen. It took them four hours to reappear, and the second they did, she was back to her old self. I’m sure they had lots of orgies while we were gone.
Once Teddy felt Mom was stable and could recover at home, Zade drove us back to their house. His team took care of the bodies and even went as far as restoring the house to its former state. I think Dad was shaken when he walked in, and it looked as if nothing ever happened.
He let Zade and I help get Mom settled in their bed and then promptly kicked us out. That was five days ago, and he still won’t let me see or talk to her.
My only reprieve is he’ll let Daya in, thinking she’s removed from my felon life or something. But now I’m unsure if he’ll even allow that anymore.
“Why? Did she say that herself, or is that a decision you’re making?”
“I know what’s best for my fucking wife,” he snaps, his anger rising. But I don’t shrink away like I normally would’ve. I told Mom that version of myself was gone, and it was the truth.
“So, what you’re saying is that I’m not good for her,” I conclude, my voice shaking with anger. My fist curls, and the urge to send it flying into the wall nearly overcomes me.
“You and that boyfriend of yours,” Dad corrects. “I’ve agreed not to go to the police about this entire situation. But that doesn’t mean I will allow you both to be in her life if this is what will happen. If you want to fuck off and become a criminal, fine, but don’t involve us in it.”
The phone clicks off a second later, and I erupt. Letting out a frustrated scream, I send my phone flying across the room, right as Zade steps through the door.
He stills, eyes tracking the phone as it crashes into the stone wall and crumples to the floor in pieces.
“Do you want me to go kidnap her?” he offers.
New Book: Back Home to Marry Off Myself
Loredana’s father left the family for his mistress, leaving them to fend for themselves abroad. When life was at its toughest, her father showed up with “good news” after 8 years of absence: To marry off Loredana to a paralyzed son of the wealthy Mendelsohn family.