My frown deepened. I knew what she meant-and I was worried too. Going into heat was a vulnerable, painful experience for us. And if your mate was nearby but refused to touch you, it made everything worse.
I sucked in a deep breath. “You don’t have to worry about me, ma. I can take care of myself.”
I lied. I was terrified. This would be my first time going into heat, and I’d heard too much about it-how overwhelming the desire became, how badly we craved a male’s touch. Some she-wolves even went as far as sleeping with strangers just to ease it. Others locked themselves in rooms and endured the pain in silence.
I think that’s what I’m going to do.
“Olivia, this is your first heat… You can’t endure it, especially with the triplets’ marks on you. It’ll be torture,” she said, sounding even more worried.
I frowned. I knew she was right. It would’ve been easier if I didn’t carry their marks. But I did. Not just one-all three. I knew it would be hell for me. But still… I’m Olivia. I’ve survived worse. I can get through this too.
“You’re strong, Olivia. I’ve seen it. However strength doesn’t make you immune to the heat, she said gently, reaching out to hold my hand. “You don’t have to endure it.”
I pulled my hand away, not out of disrespect, but because her kindness made my walls tremble.
“They don’t want me, I whispered, my voice cracking. “Not really. Not as their mate. So I’ll lock myself up that day, until my heat is over.”
“But they marked you” to Full Moon
“They marked me because they were forced, not because of love, I snapped, then quickly softened my tone. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to raise my voice.”
Lady Fiona nodded, as if she understood. “But I’ve been trying to talk to them. If just one of them agrees… would you allow it to happen?”
“No!” I said without hesitation. “I won’t let any of them touch me. They have Anita. She has their marks too. She’ll be in heat that day. They should go to her.
I tried to sound firm, but deep down, it hurt.
Back when I was just a teen, I used to dream of the full moon.
Back then, I didn’t understand what “heat” truly meant. All I knew was that the older girls spoke about it in whispers, their eyes glassy and voices filled with desire. They said it was powerful, painful, beautiful. They said that when your heat came, your mate would feel it too-that he would come for you. That he wouldn’t be able to stay away.
And even then… it was the triplets I dreamt of.
My best friends. My safe place. My entire world.
They treated me like a little sister, like someone to protect. But my heart… it had always seen them differently. Even when I was younger, I would watch them laugh together and feel something stir inside me. A wish. A quiet ache.
Sometimes I imagined it would be Levi-he’d pull me into his arms and whisper that I was his, that he had waited for me.
Other nights, it was Louis-mischievous and wild, but always gentle with me. In my fantasies, he’d burst through my door, unable to resist the bond, and kiss me like he meant it.
And Lennox… the one who always made me feel safe, who always stood a little closer than necessary. I dreamt he would worship my body with his hands and lips.
I had been so foolish. So full of hope.
“I used to dream of this, I whispered bitterly, curling tighter beneath my blanket. “I thought it would be beautiful”
But now… now I was just the girl with their marks but none of their hearts. They didn’t see me the way I saw them Maybe they never had.
“They have Anita: I said to Lady Fiona. “They’ll go to her. They should go to her.”
And saying that… it broke something inside me. Because when the full moon came and heat consumed me… I knew I wouldn’t be the one they ran to. I’d just be the mate with their marks. For a moment, neither of us said a word. Then Lady Fiona spoke. “I talked to Lennox. He refused. I don’t understand what’s wrong with them” She whispered it like she didn’t mean for me to hear-but I did.
So…. she had spoken to them. And they rejected me.
Wow.
My wolf whimpered inside me, but I buried the pain and straightened my shoulders..
“You shouldn’t have spoken to them. Because I’m not letting any of them touch me,” I said, frowning and looking away.
Lady Fiona exhaled softly, clearly holding back her emotions. Her hand hovered over mine again, but this time she didn’t touch me. “I’m sorry, Olivia. I just… I can’t stand to see you suffer. You’re like a daughter to me.
I swallowed hard, blinking away the sting in my eyes. “I’ll survive,” I whispered. “Like I always do.” There was a long pause before she stood from the bed. Her eyes lingered on me, filled with sorrow and something I didn’t quite understand-guilt, maybe. Or worry.
“I won’t push anymore,” she said quietly, smoothing her skirt. “But promise me something… If it becomes too much-if it hurts more than you can bear-you’ll call for someone. Anyone. Don’t lock yourself away in silence.”
I furrowed my brow and looked up at her, confused. Was she suggesting I let another man touch me if I can’t endure the pain?
“Yes, Olivia.” She nodded, as if she could read my thoughts. “It’s not against the rules. In fact, the law agrees with it. If a male wolf refuses to touch his mate while she’s in heat, she’s allowed to sleep with other men.” i blinked my lashes, surprised that she was actually proposing this to me.
“So if you can’t endure it… call for someone. I’ll support you. It’s the Alphas’ loss.
With that, she left-leaving me stunned and confused.
Lennox’s POV
I emptied the bottle of whiskey and shoved it away, the glass clinking loudly against the woodent table.
Levi’s words kept ringing in my head for the past few hours, circling like vultures refusing to let me breathe.
“I forgave her.”
“I never stopped loving her”
“I’m going to court Olivia-openly.”
I gritted my teeth, my fingers curling into fists on the table.
Why?
Why the hell was he forgiving her?
Why was he so damn eager to run back to the very person who shattered him?
I could still remember the nights Levi broke down when he thought no one was looking. 1 remember watching my brother-proud, unshakable Levi-turn into a ghost of himself, hollowed out by a heartbreak none of us could truly understand. Just like me, He had loved her fiercely, and when she hurt him, it gutted him.
And now… he’s talking about courting her? Loving her again?
“I’m done punishing both of us for the past.
Those words struck harder than I wanted to admit. I hated them because deep down, I knew they mirrored something I hadn’t been willing to face. That maybe, just maybe, I wasn’t mad at Levi for forgiving her.
I was mad because I couldn’t.
I stood up abruptly, the chair screeching back against the floor. My heart was pounding too fast, my jaw clenched so tightly it ached. I paced the room, fists still clenched, my eyes burning.
What Olivia did to Levi might be forgivable.
But what she did to me?
No one knew. Not Levi Not Louis. No one.
And I didn’t want to remember it either. But Levi’s confession had ripped the lid off a box I had sealed shut years ago
The memory came flooding back-raw, vivid, painful.
I slammed my fist into the wall, breathing heavily. A crack formed in the plaster, but I didn’t care. I needed the pain. I needed something real to anchor me.
I couldn’t do what Levi was doing. Not yet. Maybe not ever.
But… damn it, I envied him. His clarity. His courage. His ability to say he still loved her, despite everything.
I sat back down, this time slower. My hand throbbed, but the ache was nothing compared to what twisted inside my chest.
And for the first time in years, I whispered the truth aloud.
“I still love her, too.
The words felt foreign on my tongue. Bitter. But true.
I buried my face in my hands, trying to silence the war in my heart when suddenly a sharp knock landed on the door, pulling me out of my thoughts.
I frowned, dragging my palms down my face before yelling, “What?”
The door creaked open, and one of the maids poked her head in nervously. “Alpha Lennox… Lady Anita is asking to see you. She says it’s important.
My jaw clenched instantly. Of course, she was.
I looked away, muttering a curse under my breath. I didn’t have time for Anita’s drama-not tonight, not ever, if I had it my way. But then the maid added softly, “She’s not feeling well today… she’s been coughing blood again.”
Damn it.
As much as I wanted to ignore her, I couldn’t. I had made a promise once-back when I thought having a concubine would be enough to distract me from the hole Olivia left in me. Anita had been persistent, pretty, and obedient. But never Olivia. Never close.
With a sigh that came from deep in my chest, I pushed up from the chair, my hand still aching from where I’d slammed it into the wall. Fine, I muttered.
New Book: Back Home to Marry Off Myself
Loredana’s father left the family for his mistress, leaving them to fend for themselves abroad. When life was at its toughest, her father showed up with “good news” after 8 years of absence: To marry off Loredana to a paralyzed son of the wealthy Mendelsohn family.