I used to be one of those students, and as much as I loved teaching, I wished I could rewind time so I was on the other side of these lessons. Things had been so different then, and?-
Stop it. No more self-pity, remember?
I shook my head and refocused on the task at hand.
“Faster with the beat, Jenna. Up and stay…” I faltered when my aches intensified but quickly recovered. “Good. Open the supporting side a little more.”
I’d lived with more or less constant pain and fatigue for the past five years, so I pushed through to the end without incident.
Nevertheless, it took all my willpower not to rush my students out after class so I could get off my feet and sit in silence.
Just for a minute. Just so I could breathe.
“Excuse me, Miss DuBois?”
I glanced up. Emma stood before me, her hands fiddling first with her skirt and then the neckline of her leotard.
“I’m sorry to bother you, but I have some news.” Her excitement shone through her usual reserve. “Remember when I auditioned for
The Nutcracker last week? They released the cast list today. I’ll be playing the Sugar Plum Fairy!”
“Oh my God.” My hand flew to my mouth. “Congratulations! Emma, that’s amazing.”
It wasn’t the most professional response, but Emma had been my student for years, and while we technically weren’t supposed to play favorites, she was secretly my favorite. She worked hard, she had a great attitude, and she wasn’t catty or competitive with her peers.
The Nutcracker was her favorite ballet. If anyone deserved its most prestigious role, it was her.
I’d been one of the audition judges, but none of us knew the final cast until the director announced it. I hadn’t checked my emails yet, so I’d missed it.
“Thank you. I still can’t believe it,” Emma said breathlessly. “It’s such a dream come true, and I couldn’t have done it without you. I’d love…I mean, if you’re not busy, I’d love for you to come to the opening night. I know it’s only May and opening night isn’t until December, and I know you usually don’t attend the school showcases, but I thought I’d ask anyway.” Rose colored her cheeks. “It’ll be at the Westbury Theatre again.”
Westbury Theatre.
The name punched a hole through my gut, and my excitement leaked out like water through a sieve.
Emma was right. I never attended school showcases because they were always held at Westbury.
I wanted to support my students, but the thought of going anywhere near the theatre caused panic to swell.
“You don’t have to,” Emma said, obviously picking up on my mood shift. She drew her bottom lip between her teeth. “It’s during the holidays, so I understand?-“
“No, it’s not that.” I forced a smile. “I’d love to attend, but I might be out of town. I’m not sure yet. I’ll let you know.”
I hated lying to her, but it was better than saying I would rather stab myself in the leg than step foot in Westbury.
There were too many memories there. Too many ghosts of what I’d loved and lost.
“Okay.” Emma’s face regained some of its glow. “I’ll see you next class, then?”
“Of course. Congratulations again.” My smile was more genuine this time. “Sugar Plum Fairy is a huge role. You should be proud.”
I waited until the door shut and Emma was gone before I released a shaky breath and sank onto the floor.
The ache in my leg sharpened into a bright, pointed pain, as if the mere mention of Westbury had awakened the worst parts of my condition.
In, one, two, three.
Out, one, two, three.
I hated taking medication, so I breathed through the discomfort instead of reaching for the emergency packet I’d stashed in my bag.
Luckily, my symptoms had improved a lot over the years, thanks to lifestyle changes and careful stress management. It wasn’t like the months immediately following my accident, when
I could barely get out of bed, but it wasn’t a walk in the park either.
I never knew when pain or fatigue would strike. I had to be on guard all the time, but I’d more or less learned to live with it. It was either adapt or wallow, and I’d done enough wallowing to last a lifetime.
My phone rang. I picked it up without checking the caller ID; there was only one person in my contacts who had that ringtone.
“Lavinia wants to see you in her office,” Carina said without preamble. “Don’t worry, it’s nothing bad.” A pause. “I think.”
The shock was enough to take my mind off my leg for a second. “Wait. Seriously?”
Lavinia was the director of RAB and quite possibly the most intimidating person I’d ever met. I’d worked at the academy for four years, and I’d never heard of her calling an unscheduled meeting.
This can’t be good.
“Yes.” Carina’s voice dropped to a whisper. “I tried to find out more but she’s being super hush-hush about it. She just told me to tell you to see her as soon as class is over.”
“Right.” I swallowed. “Oh God, I’m getting sacked.”
Was it because I refused to attend the school showcases? Did she think I was a bad team player? I mean, I wasn’t the best team player, but that was because people were so?-
“No! Of course not. If she sacks you, she’ll have to sack me too,” Carina said. “We’re a package deal, and we both know she can’t afford to lose her top instructor and her trusty assistant. I hold the keys to all her PDFs.”
A small laugh rippled across the surface of my anxiety. She always knew how to make me feel better.
I’d lost a lot of “friends” after the accident, but I’d met Carina three years ago, when she joined RAB as Lavinia’s executive assistant. We’d bonded her first day over our mutual love for trashy reality TV and jigsaw puzzles, and we’d been best friends since.
“I’m coming,” I said. “See you soon.”
I stood with a wince, but the pain gradually faded into a manageable ache again. Or maybe it was all in my head and manageable only relative to my sky-high anxiety over the surprise meeting.
Carina was on the phone when I arrived, but she mouthed good luck and flashed me a thumbs-up as I knocked on the director’s door.
“Come in.”
I stepped inside with the caution of someone approaching an aggravated rattlesnake.
Lavinia’s office was as neat and polished as the woman herself. Giant windows overlooked the academy grounds, and an artfully arranged gallery of photos dominated the wall opposite the door. They captured the famous former prima ballerina in every stage of her career, from blossoming ingenue to international star to retired legend.
Lavinia herself sat behind her desk, her hair pulled back into a bun, her glasses perched on her elegant nose as she flipped through some papers.
“Please, sit.” She gestured at the chair opposite her.
New Book: Back Home to Marry Off Myself
Loredana’s father left the family for his mistress, leaving them to fend for themselves abroad. When life was at its toughest, her father showed up with “good news” after 8 years of absence: To marry off Loredana to a paralyzed son of the wealthy Mendelsohn family.