“My song? I don’t have a song.”
“You do. You call it your mo m’s favorite song, but it’s really your song. I used to sing it to you when you were a baby. I wrote the melody just for you, hoping that one day you would finish it. I didn’t even tell you mother that it was your song. She just thought it was some melody I had picked up somewhere and sang to you, but it’s yours. It’s always been yours.”
I looked up at him, with tears in my eyes. I suddenly missed all the time I had missed out on with him in my childhood. As if he was reading my mind, he said, “I know, peanut. I miss it too, but can you imagine both of us in the same room at the same time? I don’t think the world is ready for that many emotional support sloths.”
I laughed, tears falling on my cheeks. He sat down next to me, looking every bit a proud father. “Now, play for your old man, peanut.”
I played my song, as he sat next to me watching intently. When the song ended, he leaned his shoulder against mine. “It’s time for you to go back, kiddo. You’ve still got great things to accomplish, one of which is to love that man as hard as he loves you.”
“Will I get to see you again?” I asked.
“I’m always around. Practicing my swooping,” he made a swooping motion with his arm in front of me. He winked at me. “I love you, peanut.”
“I love you too, Dad.”
My eyelids fluttered open slowly. I heard Adrik snoring softly, felt his warm body beneath me. I lifted my head to look at him, but the slight movement jolted him awake. “Sephie? Are you okay??”
I rested my chin on his chest, looking at him. He looked stressed, his blue eyes were now also red. He looked like he hadn’t slept very much, if at all. He sat up a little so he could look at me better. I looked into his eyes, searching. I found what I was looking for immediately. He was looking at me with all the love and adoration as he always had, but now there was fear there. Worry that he had ruined it all. I wasn’t sure what to say to make it go away, but I remembered what my father had said. “You almost give Adrik a heart attack every time you smile at him.” I closed my eyes for a moment, remembering my dream. When I opened my eyes, he was still looking at me, clearly worried about what I was going to do or not do.
“Sephie?” he asked, his voice cracked with worry.
I smiled at him. Like I hadn’t seen him in days, like I thought he was dead and now he was underneath me, watching over me while I fought my own darkness, like I loved him more than anything in the world. It took him a moment. He was still concerned and confused, but he couldn’t help but smile back at me. I slowly lifted my very sore body off him, moving so I was sitting on his hips, straddling him. He sat up a little more so he could look me in the eyes. I reached out and ran my fingers lightly over his face, the way I knew he liked. He closed his eyes at my touch, his breath hitched. A single tear fell from the corner of each eye. I leaned into him and kissed him gently. He went to put his hands around me but stopped himself. He was still worried he was going to hurt me or I was going to do something rash. I leaned back so I could look into his eyes again. “I love you, Adrik. I will always love you. I love you more than anything I’ve ever known.” I looked into his eyes, relief washing over him. I added, “but if you ever let me think you’ve died when you haven’t again, I will kill you myself.”
He sat up, still wanting to grab me, but uncertain where his hands could go that wouldn’t hurt. He put both hands on either side of my face, looking deeply into my eyes. “I swear I will never leave you out of any plan ever again. I will never withhold information from you again. I almost lost you. I’m so sorry, Sephie. Can you ever forgive me?”
I put my hands on top of his, enjoying the warmth. I closed my eyes, remembering how cold the darkness felt, but how warm it got when I heard his voice. I opened my eyes, his eyes pleading, searching mine. “I forgive you. Besides, you’re my spark. I can’t get rid of you,” I said smiling at him again, enjoying the thought of extra angels on standby in that moment.
He raised an eyebrow at me, but instead of asking what I meant, he just leaned forward and kissed me. He was gentle, at first. His hands still on each side of my face. I pressed my body against him, timidly, and wrapped my arms around his neck. I deepened the kiss, feeling his body relaxing from the stress he’d been under for the past how ever many days.
“I love you, solnishko,” he said, pressing his forehead to mine. “I will spend every day of the rest of my life trying to make sure you know that and how sorry I am.”
I kissed his lips once more. “Don’t hang on to this. Don’t keep beating yourself up. You made a mistake. I mean, a big one, but I’m still here. I’ve got a 100% success rate at surviving hor rible situations so far. But I have been thinking that we should get a whiteboard or something that says, ‘it’s been this many days since Sephie got seriously hurt. That way we can keep track. You know, data is king and what not.” His smile stretched across his face. “There’s my Sephie.”
Adrik
I can’t even begin to describe the relief I felt when she woke up this time. I had my Sephie back. I would’ve given anything to see her smile again.
“How long have I been asleep this time? I know you laid here for at least twelve hours without moving, just so I could sleep peacefully,” she said, her fingers still running over my facial hair, her unique eyes taking inventory of my face like she still wasn’t sure I was really here with her.
“How do you know that, Sephie?” I raised an eyebrow at her.
She started to say something, but then stopped herself. “Um, it doesn’t matter right now. How long have I been torturing you?”
I smiled at her. My hand slid up the back of her neck, pulling her to me. I kissed her lips gently. “It wasn’t torture, solnishko. I was happy that you needed me when you were sleeping. Especially since you didn’t want anything to do with me when you were awake. It was killing me.”
“I was still mad at you,” she said, shrugging her shoulders.
I chuckled. “You have every right to be mad at me. I fu cked up.”
“And then I made you lay here with no food or water for days. Consider your penance complete,” she said, grinning at me.
“It wasn’t days. The second day isn’t over yet. You’ve been out for a little over 24 hours this time.” I ran my hands through her hair, as she closed her eyes. Her hands went to my shoulders to steady herself. I loved watching her get lost in my touch. She had no idea how sexy she looked.
Her eyes snapped open, “weren’t we supposed to leave though? What happened?”
I smiled at her. “The guys all came to me yesterday morning when we were supposed to leave and told me they weren’t going anywhere until you were better. I had already made the decision to stay until you were better but hadn’t told them as I couldn’t leave you. They discussed it among themselves and said they weren’t going until you could go too.” Her eyebrows furrowed for a moment. I cupped her cheek with my hand, my thumb gently stroking her beautiful face. “They love you, Sephie. They’re fairing almost worse than I have been. At least I’ve been able to hold you while you were sleeping. I don’t think any of them have slept since we got here. They come in occasionally to check on you. They look terrible.”
New Book: Back Home to Marry Off Myself
Loredana’s father left the family for his mistress, leaving them to fend for themselves abroad. When life was at its toughest, her father showed up with “good news” after 8 years of absence: To marry off Loredana to a paralyzed son of the wealthy Mendelsohn family.