“Sorry for the unplanned and completely unnecessary entertainment everyone,” I said as we walked quickly out of his office. I was a little taken aback by Adrik’s behavior. Once we were on the elevator, I looked up at him. “Is everything okay?” He was silent for the short ride up to the penthouse, his jaw clenched. He still hadn’t said a word as we walked into the penthouse. I followed him to the kitchen. “Adrik?”
He finally sighed and looked at me. He looked hurt. “It’s not okay, Sephie. How long have you been struggling with these memories?”
“I mean, since it happened? What do you mean?” I asked.
“You try to carry all of this… this hurt by yourself. It’s not fair that you only share the best parts of yourself with me, but shut me out when you’re hurting. I love you, Sephie. All of you. The best parts of you, the worst parts of you, the parts of you that like to be bratty just to get a reaction. I love all of you. You can’t keep shutting me out except when you’re happy.” he said. He was tense. He was leaning on the counter, gripping the edge of it with both hands like he was trying to crush the granite.
“I didn’t know I was talking in my sleep. I don’t remember anything. I didn’t intentionally shut you out,” I said, quietly. I was confused by his reaction, which meant I didn’t know how to react. I just stood there, for once, not having the slightest clue on what to do. I didn’t realize that I had completely zoned out until Adrik was standing in front of me.
“You’re doing it again,” he said. His voice was softer, but there was still a look of concern In his eyes.
“Doing what?” I asked, completely confused.
“Where was your mind just then?” he asked, looking more concerned.
“I don’t know. It was blank. I told you I didn’t intentionally shut you out, then I had no clue what to do, then you were standing in front of me,” I said. I was starting to feel anxious. I could feel myself getting more upset by the second.
He cursed under his breath. “Sephie, it’s been five minutes. You completely zoned out. I had to touch you to get you to snap out of it.”
I suddenly felt like he was mad at me, like he thought I was doing this on purpose. I took a step back from him. “I didn’t know!” I said, the tears started to fall. “I’m not doing it on purpose.” I crossed my arms across my chest, shutting my eyes to try and keep the tears from falling.
I felt his arms around me, his lips on my forehead. “Sephie, has this ever happened before? Can you remember ever losing time before?” I nodded my head. “Did it happen after that night in the basement with your uncle?” His voice was much softer now. His hands running lightly over my back, trying to comfort me. I nodded my head again. “Did it happen after the forced procedure?” “I don’t remember. Maybe. That’s when things got really bad at my uncle’s house. I don’t remember a ton of extra details,” 1 said quietly.
“Makes sense,” he said as he pulled me further into the kitchen.
“What makes sense?” I asked. I was still completely lost. He glanced at me as he turned the hot water on, pouring Epsom salt into the bowl. His face softening completely as he looked down at me.
“You’re extra cute when you’re confused, just so you know. You get this doe-eyed look that practically makes you irresistible,” he said, his sexy smirk on his face.
“I don’t know about that, but I’m definitely confused,” I said. He walked to the other side of the island and grabbed one of the chairs and brought it back to where I was standing.
“Sit,” he said, as he grabbed the bowl and set it in front of me. He remained in front of me, his fingers playing with my curls. while I looked at my hands in the bowl of hot water. “Your brain zones out because it’s trying to protect you from reliving those memories. I’ve caught you doing it several times since Monday, but I didn’t think you were truly zoning out until just now. Your brain rarely stops, so I just assumed you were deep in thought.”
“You have?” I asked, surprised.
He nodded. “Earlier today, even. When we were soaking your hands the last time. Then when you fell asleep in my office, you started talking. You only ever talk in your sleep when something’s wrong. You started to struggle and I was worried you were back in the same nightmare loop, but you started pleading for them not to take your uterus. You were screaming at one point.”
I felt the tears falling. I kept looking at my hands. “I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to.” I could remember being in the clinic, begging for the doctor not to do the procedure. He was completely indifferent to my pleas. He acted like he didn’t even hear me.
Sephie
“Don’t apologize, Sephie. I want to be here for you. If you’re struggling with your past because you’re being forced to relive it right now, I want to be here to help you through it. You don’t have to go through it alone this time. The guys, too. They also want to help.” He lifted my chin so I would look at him. “You’re not alone anymore, Sephie.”
The tears were streaming down my face at this point. I still didn’t know what to do. He already had so much on his shoulders, they all did, that I didn’t want to bother them with what had happened in the past. I’d become accustomed to keeping my past locked up tight. When it came down to it, I was still worried he was going to look at me differently.
“I won’t look at you differently, Sephie. You’re never going to find what it is that you’re constantly searching for. Don’t get me wrong, I kinda love when you search, but it’s pointless. What you’re searching for doesn’t exist. It will never exist,” he said.
I squinted my eyes at him. “How did you do that?”
He laughed. He leaned down and kissed my lips. “You were searching, love. It was easy to guess what you were thinking.” The timer on his phone went off. He leaned down and kissed me once more, then walked to the freezer and grabbed ice. He didn’t bother trying to get me to put my hands in the ice water this time. He just soaked a towel and wrapped my hands up.
“Still ha te it, for the record,” I said, trying to make myself not pull my hands away from the cold towel.
He laughed, but he wouldn’t let me take my hands away, either. He stood in front of me, his arms crossed across his chest, watching to make sure I kept them in the towel until he was satisfied. “Sephie, do you know how reliant I’m becoming on having you around?” he asked.
I shook my head no. “What do you mean?”
New Book: Back Home to Marry Off Myself
Loredana’s father left the family for his mistress, leaving them to fend for themselves abroad. When life was at its toughest, her father showed up with “good news” after 8 years of absence: To marry off Loredana to a paralyzed son of the wealthy Mendelsohn family.