Sighing, I rest my hands on my rounded hips and inquire, “Jamie, how many times do I have to tell you not to make so much noise when it’s only the three of you home?”
Pouting, her small bow lips twist as she aims her emerald irises up at me giving me her infamous puppy dog eyes. Her golden locks are braided into two French braids and she’s dressed in acid-washed jeans with a ‘normal is boring’ graphic tee- her signature look. At least she’s ready for school.
I know I’m being hard on her, but with no adults in the house, we can’t afford to draw any attention. Not when I’m so close to turning eighteen.
If she’s hurt by my reaction she doesn’t let on. Instead, she proceeds to explain. “I’m sorry Riah, but dummy one and dummy two were chasing me around the house, refusing to take a bath before school. Then, they partnered up to make sure that didn’t happen.”
Eight-year-old twin forces of nature hit the landing with a thump and matching looks of mock innocence lining their cherub faces. Kellan and Kylan are identical, carbon copies of our dad with his strawberry blond hair, haunting gray eyes, and face speckled with freckles.
Jamie and I both look like a blended version of both of our parents. She has our dad’s ivory complexion and mom’s green eyes. While I have our mom’s sun-kissed, year-round glow and our dad’s gray ones.
Lifting my hand, I rub circles in the center of my chest. Thinking about Dad causes a spasm in my solar plexus. I still can’t believe we have no idea where he is. He was overseas on a humanitarian mission with the military when he went missing from his unit and he hasn’t been seen or heard from in over two years.
I was, and am, devastated. He’s my best friend. He’d watch all my favorite nineties and early two thousand teen movies or run through different tactical drills with me. He’d always say ‘it’s better to be over-prepared and not need it than to be underprepared and not have it.’ His absence has caused a black hole-sized chasm in our family.
I can still remember the look on my mom’s face when the call came in. It’s why she’s on a bender somewhere instead of being here on our first day of school.
My pulse kicks up, pounding a staccato beat. I feel the tightness in my chest as panic settles in, but I can’t succumb to this feeling.
Come on Riah! Get it together. Not today. Don’t go down that road. Get your shit together.
I berate myself. There’s too much that needs to be done, and I don’t have time for a meltdown.
I suck in a deep breath and hold it. I allow myself one more moment, because a moment is all I can afford to have, before I turn my attention to my brothers. I can’t let them see me break. They look to me for stability and security. If I break, then who will take care of them?
Looking down at the twins, I expel the breath I was holding.
“Kell… Ky… you know the rules. Did Mom come home at all while I was at work?” I ask them.
Kell is the first to answer. “Riah, we haven’t seen Mom in like two days.” He shrugs, used to her disappearing acts.
Huffing, I tilt my chin toward my chest as my lips pull into a frown. Mom’s getting worse. When she’s home she’s too out of it to help and as soon as the fog of her alcohol- and drug-induced stupor wears off, she disappears again. She never stays long enough to actually care for any of us. I’d hoped moving here would keep her out of trouble, but it’s having the opposite effect.
Calloway is a small town. I don’t think more than a thousand people live here. One main road leads in and out of this place and the center of town is lined with mom-and-pop shops. Not a single chain restaurant or store in sight.
However, it’s full of some of the wealthiest people in the world. It’s almost as if the town itself is a gated community. McMansions are everywhere making our house look like a shack.
Yet, compared to the last few places we’ve lived since Dad’s disappearance, this house is a dream. The boys share a bedroom but Mom, Jamie, and I have our own.
It’s a far step up from the two-bedroom apartment we lived in before, where we’d pray the heat would work, and that we wouldn’t be mugged on our way home to our dilapidated building.
Still, don’t get me started on the khaki shorts, boat shoes, and Ray-Ban wearing spoiled brats that come into the diner expecting you to drop everything and kiss the ground they walk on. Let’s just say I don’t have high hopes of making friends while I finish my senior year.
Remembering we’re in a time crunch, I refocus. It’s time we get our asses in gear. I can ponder the hell I’m sure my senior year will bring once I get these knuckleheads ready.
Squinting at my brothers, my face stern, I go full drill sergeant. “Okay, boys, get your butts in that bathroom and shower for school. You have fifteen minutes to be showered and dressed,” I say tersely, leaving no room for an argument. Clapping my hands to emphasize the need for haste, I continue, “Your clothes are in the closet. I picked them out last night before I left for work. Get a move on! I have no more than an hour before I need to be at school. Chop, chop, and all that jazz!” Two sets of gray eyes widen into round saucers, then they turn and race each other up the stairs.
Ha, Dad would be so proud. Jamie follows behind them, probably to lay their clothes out on their beds. She’s truly a great sister.
A few seconds later, I climb our carpeted cream-colored stairs to my room. The door creaks open, and the bare blue-gray walls stare back at me. Decorating this place is on my to-do list once I get done the other fifty million things I have to do.
Heading toward my closet, I wonder what I should wear on my first day at a new school.
Considering this is school number five in the last two years, one can wear whatever the hell she wants. At that thought, I decide on a pair of black leggings and my dad’s gray Red Hot Chili Peppers band tee, finishing off my look with black Doc Martens.
Once I’m showered, dressed, and my midnight blue tresses are tamed, I go downstairs and pack everyone’s lunch. I dyed my strawberry-blonde hair blue over the summer. I figured a new town, a new look. Besides, I think it makes my gray eyes more haunting.
Those eyes look up at the sound of one set of footsteps coming down the stairs just in time to see only Jamie is ready. These boys will make me gray before I can even earn the title of ‘old cat lady.’
Shouting upstairs, I boom, “Let’s go. We have t-minus ten before you make me late!”
They come flying down the stairs while I finish packing lunches.
“Are you nervous about starting a new school?” I ask as they sit at the oak table in the corner of our kitchen, and Jamie pours their cereal.
I love my siblings and would give up everything to ensure they’re okay. I’ll be here for them no matter the cost, and I won’t dwell on our mom disappearing to fuck knows where or that it’s been radio silence from the military on our dad’s whereabouts. If I do, I’ll definitely have a panic attack.
Instead, I focus on the fact that we have each other. More importantly, they have me.
Jamie’s voice interrupts me from my spiraling thoughts.
“No, I just hope we’re here longer than the last two schools we were in, and I hope we hear news about Dad soon.” Her verdant-green eyes begin to brim with tears. “I miss him, Riah, and I miss how our family was before he went missing.”
My face falls flat.
Me too, Jamie, me too.
I’m about to respond, but she changes the subject. A mask of strength lining her young face.
“Today’s going to be great. Right, boys?” she announces, turning to look at the boys. A smile crests her face, shining half as bright as it used to and eyes looking far older than they should be.
I’ll make it my mission to put the light back into them. Jamie’s too young to be jaded.
“Right,” they say in unison.
Chuckling, I shake my head at how they sound like one person. I swear twins have powers.
New Book: Back Home to Marry Off Myself
Loredana’s father left the family for his mistress, leaving them to fend for themselves abroad. When life was at its toughest, her father showed up with “good news” after 8 years of absence: To marry off Loredana to a paralyzed son of the wealthy Mendelsohn family.