I take stock of her team. Bennet notices me, but doesn’t do more than lift an eyebrow at me from his post leaning on a tree behind her. The other four are stationed at each corner of the field. They look like they could be watching the game.
I debate shifting back and trying to talk, but then I remember the night at Jeremiah’s. She likes me in my wolf’s form. She says it’s because I can’t talk back, but I think he’s a good buffer between us. He knows he wants her and she can feel that sureness. She has never once shown that she is afraid of me or him, but something about my wolf settles her, and Josh has a point, I have to give her something if I am going to keep her. Especially if Bennet and Greta are right and any bruising or pain has been caused by me.?My wolf slowly walks up beside her and sits. She makes no indication that she notices and doesn’t turn toward us, but she does lean in closer. Not putting any weight against his flank, but close enough that we can feel his fur brush her arm and side. Now I just need to get her to sit with me like this in my human form.
Kennedy
I have been enjoying my time better in this pack. Sarah has been so amazing, she knows so much about the history and the way the pack works. I wonder if she is like an elder or something. It’s been a long time since I have laughed this much and I am loving every second. She has no filter and tells everyone like it is, but with the kindest? heart I have ever seen.
“So then they were all running naked to the packhouse like their tails were on fire!.” Sarah finishes her story about Ryker, Josh, Bennet and Danny when they were about ten and I am laughing so hard I almost fall out of my chair. Robin is slightly more dignified, but she has probably heard this story before.
“I wish I could hear more stories like this. With so many elders here I’m sure there is so much more history I could learn about his pack. It is so big and wonderful, it’s like nothing I have experienced before.” I can’t even hide my fascination with Dark Moon. The more I learn, the more I want to know. It’s nothing like the rumors that surround it. But, I see how the rumors probably work in Ryker’s favor keeping rogue wolves in check and protecting pack members that are literally hours away. I have even started to bring my schoolwork out to the kitchen when I know Sarah will be here just to spend time with her.
She smiles at me. “I’m sure I could introduce you to a few other old timers like me. We all love telling our own versions of the same stories over and over again.”
“You are not old Sarah, stop!” I slam my book shut. I cannot take in another word and I am about to call it quits? anyway.
“Are you frustrated with something in your studies, girly?” Sarah looks at me while Robin checks the endless emails she has on her phone. “You have been rather harsh to your book. Did it offend you?” She chuckles.
“No, but the longer I spend here, the less I see the point in finishing any of this. High School and a business degree are useless. At least when I was home I had a business to study for. Now I don’t know what to do and I’m not allowed to choose what I want to be when I grow up. Why waste money and time on something that will mean nothing in the end?”
That was way more word vomit than I planned on, but I’m frustrated. I was even planning on leaving Silver Crescent to get my degree and if I chose to return it would be on my terms with something to contribute to the benefit of the pack. Now I just feel like a mooch.
“Well, your alpha has plenty of money to throw around, so he should treat you to whatever you want. If it’s school, then why not let him pay for it?”
“Because I haven’t earned it. It’s really that simple. He doesn’t owe me anything, and I won’t take what I haven’t worked for. I have been living off of pack leaders’ money for the last three years and everyone says it’s fine or not a big deal, but I don’t like it. I am paying for it with my personal choices and freedom being taken away. I don’t like that decisions about my life have been made for me and about me without any input from me for so long. But because I can’t fund my own things I can’t really complain. It makes me feel ungrateful at the same time as I feel frustrated.”
I scrub my hands over my face. I’m not making any sense now. This is what happens when you are cooped up for so long. The weather is finally too cold to go outside even with a blanket and heater, so my cabin fever has hit a? new level.
“I am so sorry ladies, I need to go answer these emails with phone calls otherwise nothing will get done right. Robin pops up from her chair and takes off as fast as one can in a pencil skirt.?”What would make you feel like you are earning your place here, maybe I can help.” Sarah finishes chopping veggies and scoots a plate towards me.
“At this point anything that helps to make the pack better, or more efficient. There’s no way that I can’t help with something around here. The pack is so big, Ryker has been in this packhouse less than a handful of times since I have been here. But, he clearly doesn’t think I am capable of anything or doesn’t trust me yet. I know my Aunt Beth was more busy than Uncle James at times. I know the luna is supposed to be working for the pack.”
“Well, we have a greenhouse that some of us oldies work at throughout the winter. We don’t love the cold as much as the youngins do and it’s the best place for pack gossip. And my planters have finally been put to bed for the winter, so that’s where I will be.” She chuckles at the conspiracy. “You’ve mentioned the pups almost every day, you could go play with them. Some of their mammas would appreciate their energy being burned off. And a few guys keep their field clear of leaves in the fall and snow in the winter so they never have to find a place to play. It keeps them out of trouble.”
“Am I allowed to leave though? Do you know something I don’t? The last direction that was yelled at me after Bennet got attacked while protecting me was ‘don’t leave the packhouse.’ It was pretty clear.”
“If memory serves, Ryker is very much like his father in that respect. When something they care about is threatened, they lash out, even at the person they are trying to protect. I’m not excusing the behavior,” She puts her hands up like I might argue with her. “It’s an asshole thing to do, but it is an inherited trait. And usually an overreaction they don’t remember having.”
“I know he cares about Bennet. But I think Ryker might have threatened him. Bennet and I haven’t spoken much since the attack.” It sucks how bad saying those words out loud hurts. “Ryker, for sure, has made his point that he does not care about me. He’s stuck though because his wolf wants me around or needs me around, or something like that. I’m not sure which is more accurate. I know a bit about mates, but it wasn’t anything I thought I needed to know about, so I didn’t pay close attention in school. I know he is trying to find a way to reject me so we can both move on with our lives. I just wish it wasn’t at the bottom of his priority list.”
“Did he say he was going to reject you?” She sounds horrified at the idea.
“Not in words, but the former luna has books in her office and I have been through most of them. One talks about mates, the good and the bad stuff that can happen. I was trying to figure out if it said anything about human mates. I haven’t found anything yet, but I did find one that talks about infidelity and how serious it is. Well, I have the marks to prove that Ryker doesn’t want me, if I am to believe the latest book.”
“What?! Let me see!” I jump as she shouts at me.
I’m afraid I said something wrong looking at her face right now. I really don’t want to show her. It’s embarrassing really. Clearly Amy’s accusation when I got here was right and I don’t please or can’t please the alpha, so he’s looking elsewhere.
“Kennedy, please show me.” She softened her look at me, now I see pity. She already knows what she’s going to find. I think Greta saw them last week too, but she didn’t say anything so I can’t be sure. “This is not your fault and you have done nothing wrong, but I need to see.”
“Will he get in trouble somehow if you find what you’re looking for?” I don’t know why I care, but I do. Stupid mate bond. Clearly it only works one way.
“Not any real trouble no, but I want to be sure for your peace of mind. Please.” I don’t believe that at all. This is bad, the worst type of betrayal.
I stand and meet her halfway around the island. There isn’t anyone around that I can see and I don’t really care if Bennet knows. He’s lurking behind a wall. I wonder if he knows I can sense him near me? One more deep breath and then I raise my shirt. There are layers of tennis ball sized bruises in different shades of purple, yellow and green surrounding most of my abdomen and wrapping around to my back. I can’t ever get a good look at the back ones in my mirror though.?”Did these just show up?”
“Kind of, but I always had a stomach ache or cramps before. I thought maybe I did something in the gym or bumped into something or maybe was getting sick, but that’s not what these are, are they? I’ve been getting them for weeks.”
New Book: Back Home to Marry Off Myself
Loredana’s father left the family for his mistress, leaving them to fend for themselves abroad. When life was at its toughest, her father showed up with “good news” after 8 years of absence: To marry off Loredana to a paralyzed son of the wealthy Mendelsohn family.