“Yes. I did.”
“Get out of my apartment.”
“Liesl, please. Come to bed with me.” He waved his hand at her. “I want to hold you. I want to remind you of how good we are together. How it is supposed to be.”
“Are you high?”
“No. Please. Come to me.”
“I would rather die.” She snorted. “I have a new man in my life. I have no need to stare at ceiling tiles waiting for you to finish.”
“This isn’t you talking,” he said gently as he approached her tentatively. “You once told me how much you loved it when I was gentle with you. You told me you liked it when I loved you slow.”
“Not every fucking time,” she growled back. “It was boring, Merlin. It was boring as watching paint dry. I loved it because it was intimate. I knew for you it was how you expressed to me your love and I loved our connection but the act itself was dull. Do you know how much it killed me to know you couldn’t keep it up for me and had to take drugs but for my sister you could fuck her willy-nilly without any problem?”
He froze, “is this what you think?” He was right in front of her now, his hand reached out to wipe a stray tear off her cheek, “baby, no.”
“Yes. You couldn’t fuck me without aids but her you could whip it out and go to town. I hate you. I hate you for making me feel less and I hate you even more for making me feel less than her.”
“Liesl, you have it wrong.” He gently cupped her cheek and stared into her eyes. “I took the pills because I explode every time, I’m near you. I can’t keep it up because you turn me on so much, I’m blowing my load too fast to give you pleasure first. I have zero control with you.”
She swallowed at his words and shook her head, slapping his hand off her face. “You said it was because work made you unable…”
“I didn’t want you to think I couldn’t keep up with my wife,” he said, his eyes searching hers for any sign which would give him hope.
“You need to go get your clothes on and get out.”
“I know if you came with me, if we went to bed right now, you would remember how much I love you and how much you love me.”
“No. What I would feel if I went to bed with you right now is filthy, dirty, and low. You’re married to my sister and unlike her, I won’t fuck my sister’s husband. You can give me all the words and sweet talk in the world, Merl, but the truth is, you cheated. Then if it wasn’t bad enough you cheated, you left me hurting and crying on the floor of your office like I wasn’t worth the time to console or even apologize to.”
“Because I knew if I did, I’d break,” he said softly. “I would break, and I would beg you to forgive me, and I would ask you to leave with me and we’d leave Manchester and never come back. Dad told me what to do and I did it because I want the company for us and our future children. I should have told him to go fuck himself. I’ve lost everything because I listened to him.”
“You lost everything because you slept with my sister,” she reminded him of his transgressions. “If you hadn’t done this, we wouldn’t be where we are.”
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I am so sorry for hurting you and for what I’ve done. I have so many regrets and so much disgust with myself. I wish I could go back in time and fix all of this because I got caught up. I know I fucked up. I know I shouldn’t have let her touch me the first time. I should have not allowed her to threaten you or extort me. I got caught up in panic and worry and I’m sorry.”
“It’s not enough,” she stepped away from him. “Please go put your clothes on and leave.”
“I’ll get dressed but I want us to talk more.”
“Not going to happen. You’ll get dressed and you’ll leave.” She moved backwards again. “Sandy is having your son. You need to go home to your wife.”
“Wife. Fuck her. I hate her guts,” he said bitterly.
“Yet you jump through all the hoops she holds up for you.” She shot back, her own anger resurfacing.
“It’s a McGrath heir in her belly.”
“You put it there.”
“I know,” his tone was calm again. “I know I did. I wish it was you.”
A pinching sensation filled her chest at his words. “Merlin, go put your clothes on.”
“I don’t want to,” he said staring at her. “I want to take you to bed, hold you and never let you go.”
“You don’t get to do that ever again,” she shrugged away the ache in her chest at his words. “You left me broken. You don’t get to come into my life and dictate how I heal.”
“I know you still love me.”
“You know nothing,” she growled angrily shoving his chest as she barged past him. “You don’t know a fucking thing!”
“I know your fling with Machado is a fling to him and you aren’t the kind of girl who does flings. He won’t put a ring on your finger. He won’t give you the family you want.”
His words stung. “Leave Merlin.”
She tried not to look at his ass as he strolled back to the bedroom of her apartment slowly.
“I know you’re looking at my ass,” he called out. “You always liked looking at my ass.”
“I’ve seen better.” She called back and he gave a dry chuckle at her response.
“If you’re talking about Machado’s, you should study it hard. It’s probably all you’ll see of him when he walks away from you.” He turned around giving her a full glimpse of his body with his hands out, “and when he does, you can come back to me, and I won’t ask a single question. We’ll call it even. You fucked my enemy in retaliation for your sister.”
She stood staring at him as he backed up with a smirk disappearing into her bedroom, the rustling sounds of him getting dressed haunting her. “How the hell did you get in here, Merlin?” she asked for what felt the hundredth time.
“You’re meant to be with me, love.” He called back. “You applied to rent from one of our companies. Your name was flagged and so I told the agent to give you whatever you wanted.”
New Book: Back Home to Marry Off Myself
Loredana’s father left the family for his mistress, leaving them to fend for themselves abroad. When life was at its toughest, her father showed up with “good news” after 8 years of absence: To marry off Loredana to a paralyzed son of the wealthy Mendelsohn family.
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