I scoffed.
“Waylen is not his father,” I stated. “Or his mother, for that matter. He’s just a kid. And he’s not been dealt the best life. His mom was leaving him at the diner at two years old, Deb. He’s innocent in everything. If anything, Waylen is the only thing about Jinx that I’ve ever felt that I was in the right place at the right time.”
“You practically raised that boy while you worked,” Deb mentioned. “Stood toe-to-toe with everyone over him.”
“And I’d do it again and again,” I said. “Because he’s a kid and deserves better.”
“That mother of his is a real piece of work,” she mumbled. “I’m glad she left town finally.”
“Me too, but his dad ain’t much better,” I replied.
“That’s kind of rude of you to say, Deid,” she said.
“Is it?” I asked. “You didn’t see his face when I went rushing in with Waylen in my arms that night. He was only five years old, running a fever of 105. Jinx had no idea why Waylen was even with me or that he was sick. The more I yelled, the more I realized he had no idea what had been going on at all. Years, Deb. For literally years, Glory had been bringing Waylen to the diner, leaving him there all day, and picking him up at all kinds of fu.cking hours. And he never knew. What kind of father wouldn’t have known that?”
“The kind who thought that a mother could never hurt her child,” she replied softly.
I scoffed at that. However, Deb had a point. I knew Glory enough to know that she was a manipulative bit.ch. Waylen was always a quiet kid. I’m sure there are things that he never told me about too, because of Glory. Jinx might not have even thought to ask if he really thought everything was okay.
Plus, Jinx would bring Waylen into the diner too. Not leave him like Glory, but to spend time with him. They’d sit at Waylen’s favorite corner booth for hours. Jinx would just keep ordering stuff to appease the boss because Waylen didn’t want to leave. I saw the way they were with each other. Waylen never looked that happy with Glory. He loved his dad and Jinx loved him too.
I was and still am extremely angry about it. But a lot of that is pointed at myself too. If I had just said something to Jinx sooner… it wouldn’t have gotten so bad. Besides, I haven’t seen Glory since all of that went down. Whether she left on her own or was forced to run, I’ll never know, but either way, I knew Jinx had taken care of it. Because he finally saw the truth.
A few days after I stormed into The Salvation Knights’ clubhouse, I went back. I knew Jinx had taken him to the hospital, because we took my car. I refused to let go of Waylen. Of course, I left them there after Waylen was taken back by the doctors. However, I hadn’t seen or heard from anyone since. So, I went back to ask how Waylen was. Mrs. Roth was there and actually took me to see Waylen. And on my way out, I ran into Jinx.
It was by far the most awkward encounter I’ve ever had with him. I was still angry, but I was confused. Jinx just stared at me with this hard look that I’d never seen before. After an intense staring contest – that I won, by the way he thanked me. I was a bit taken back by it at the time. Jinx didn’t offer any further explanation. He just told me that he appreciated all I did for his son, that he was sorry, and thanked me before walking away.
I’ll never forget the look in his eyes when he did though. Jinx looked… ashamed, guilty, and devastated. I knew that he truly didn’t know what his son was going through. I didn’t want to make it worse by mouthing off to him. So, I left. Went home, stewed about it all night, and tried to forget about it. The day that Waylen was better, he snuck away from the club to go to the diner.
“I see you thinking over there,” Deb said. “All I’m saying is to give the man a break.”
“If I tell you that I’ll think about it during this vacation, will you leave me alone?” I asked.
“For now,” she replied with a dramatic sigh.
Deb and I chatted the rest of the way to the airport. She wanted to come in and walk with me as far as she could, but I told her not to. I thought it was a waste of time, and I was still too anxious about leaving Garden Sip. I needed her to get back there. So, we hugged in the parking lot. Deb waved one last time before I went inside. I watched until she drove out of the parking lot.
I turned towards the busy airport and let out a long breath.
This was a good thing. I was taking a vacation. Even if I spend the holiday alone for the first time ever. It’s totally fine because I need a break.
Alright! Let’s go make this the best vacay ever!
Deidra’s P.O.V.
I arrived at the cabin much later than I thought I would. There was a snowstorm when I landed in Colorado and everything was backed up. As much as I wasn’t used to the cold, I kind of loved the snow. Just for this vacation though. I’d never give up the Tennessee warmth.
By the time my Uber got to me, I was supposed to be checked-in over an hour ago. The lady that works the office also owns the cabin rental place, and she was very kind and understanding about it all. She even had her husband take me and my things to the cabin in this truck, which I guess they don’t do for everyone. I felt unbelievably blessed, because I would have been walking through the knee-deep snow if not for them. No way my Uber driver would even have attempted it.
The cabins were all lined with warm glowing lights. Not the colorful kind that I like, but the classic Christmas kind. There were green wreaths on every door with a big red bow. It was subtly decorated and I kind of loved it. It was different from the clusterfu.ck of random decorations and colorful lights back home. Not that I didn’t love both. This just felt… mature and cozy. Just like I always remembered with my parents. Of course, this place has new owners now.
Dale, the husband who drove me to my cabin, told me not to worry too much. They get a lot of snow in the area, but the roads would be cleared by morning. He also promised that the driveway to my cabin would be cleared first thing as well. I told him not to rush, I didn’t really have any plans anyway. I did want to go to town at some point, but I wasn’t in a rush.
Thankfully, Dale had also come inside to make sure the furnace was running, and he started a small fire in the fireplace. The cabin was toasty warm already, and had a very cozy feeling to it by the time Dale left. I took off my coat, hat, gloves, and boots before exploring the small cabin. And it was small.
The cabin I had booked with Theo in mind was a bit bigger. It was a single bedroom, but it was the couples’ hideaway cabin, specifically for couples. There had been a hot tub on the back porch, a huge tub with jets, a large master bedroom, and a romantic fireplace. Ironically, this place was nearly exactly the same, but a smaller version. There was still a hot tub on the small back porch that was hidden with the trees surrounding the back half of the cabin, but the bedroom and bathroom were a lot smaller. At least there was still a tub. One of the things on my list during this vacay is a nice, long, hot soak.
As soon as you walk in, you’re pretty much in the living room. Everything is dark, hard-wood matching the log theme outside the cabin. It was dark and cozy. The living room was perfect for just me. There was a couch that didn’t look all that comfortable and a single chair. The fireplace wasn’t as intricate and romantic as the other cabin, but it was cute.
There was a gray and white fur rug in front of the fireplace too. Thankfully, no head attached to it. I ran my fingers through it, feeling how soft it was. I’d absolutely love to curl up on this and read a book.
The kitchen was off to the side, the whole room one big open area. It was small, but plenty of space for just me. It even came stocked with pots, pans, and plates, but no silverware at all. There were some Christmas decorations throughout the cabin too. Little touches. Like two stockings hanging on the fireplace, the decorated tree in the corner of the living room, the center-piece on the table off to the side in the kitchen. It was cute and just what I needed.
But there was a small ache deep in my chest. Not necessarily over the fact that I was supposed to spend this trip with Theo either. I mean, that’s part of it. The more I think about him, the more I realize that we weren’t a good match, but it still stings. Honestly, I think I’m more upset than I’ll admit about being alone. All my Christmases were spent with my parents, mostly here. After that, I spent every year with Deb, sometimes Sophie. For the last four years, I’ve spent it with Theo and his family. This will be the first time I’ll be alone.
I needed this, but the timing is just kind of sh.itty. Couldn’t they have imploded my life two weeks ago instead? I could have taken this trip before the holidays and then been back home.
Sighing heavily, I continued my tour of the cabin. There was a small hall with three doors; one at the end, one on the right, and one on the left. The left was the bathroom, where I thanked the heavens for the bathtub. It might not be a huge one with jets, but it’ll do the job.
To the right was the bedroom. There was a queen-sized bed on a simple wooden frame. The comforter was red and black plaid. There was a big rug that took up most of the floor, a bedside table with an alarm clock, and a tall dresser. I walked to the only window in the room. One of the good things about this cabin is that it’s pretty secluded. They all are, but this one sits further back, tucked away from the rest. However, I can see a much larger cabin just a few yards away. It’s huge, much bigger than this one. I bet it makes this cabin look like a shed.
Shaking my head, I went to the last door in the hall. As expected, it was a small closet filled with extra towels, toiletries, and blankets. Then I grabbed my suitcase and unpacked. The snow has let up some now. It went from a raging blizzard to a light snowfall.
After I was settled in, I changed into a pair of sweatpants and a sweater that hung off my shoulder.
Then I called Deb to let her know I made it safely. She wanted to know all the details about my little cabin. She sounded so happy that I couldn’t help but smile.
Deb is much like my parents were. She has no other family, which made it a bit easier to come live with me when my parents died. She was my mom’s best friend, but she knew my dad first. They had been in the same foster home for a few years before Dad turned 18 and dipped out. They kept in touch though. Dad said they were family, like brother and sister. Deb never married or had kids.
She once told me that my parents begged her to move down to Tennessee several times, but she always said no because she didn’t want to seem like a burden.
Funny how that turned out, I guess.
Once I was off the phone with Deb, I grabbed a book I had brought with me and got comfortable on the couch. I debated seeing if there was an Uber that would take me to the store now that the storm had died down, or maybe Doordash would bring me something. I decided against it though. It was already late and snow was still falling. Getting drunk off wine-coolers could wait until tomorrow.
After a while, I got lost in my book. Time seemed to fly by, or at least, it felt that way. I had read about half the book when I finally decided to take a break.
It felt weird not having anything to do. Usually, Garden Sip kept me busy. Or Deb, or Sophie, or Theo. I was always doing something, and when I wasn’t, I was with other people. As much as I say I’m a loner, I don’t think I’ve ever actually been alone. Just… always only had a select few people around me.
When I was a kid it was different. I was always surrounded by people; students, teachers, my parents. I didn’t talk to many people and stuck to myself, but was I ever really alone?
The most alone I ever felt was the day my parents died. Being told awkwardly by the principal and a police officer that my parents had died kind of put into perspective for me how truly alone I was about to be. It took a few minutes to process the news after they told me, but as soon as I had… my brain immediately started spiraling.
How alone was I if these two strangers had to give me the news? What happens to me now? Will I end up in foster care like Dad was? Will I have to move somewhere else? Can I convince someone to let me take care of myself? How do I do that? Do I have to plan the funeral?
I didn’t even know what to do or how to ask any of the questions running through my head. All I managed to ask was if I could go back to class. I think my body was on autopilot. Before they could reply to me, I was on my feet and out the door. No one followed me. I walked at a normal pace, looking like nothing was wrong at all. But I didn’t go back to class. I just kept walking until I was outside in the school’s green house.
Our teacher that was in charge of the garden club had given me her key that day because she had things to do after school and trusted me to make sure the club didn’t ruin the place. I let myself in and… started working. I let everything go, refusing to think about anything as I dug around in the dirt. I wasn’t sure how much time had past, but I had touched nearly every single plant in there. I realized it was dark, and wondered if anyone was worried about me. But then I remembered that there was no one left to worry about me.
The memories kept playing in my head as I made my way to the bedroom and got into bed. That day was possibly the worst day of my life. But there was something that happened in the green house that I never told anyone about, not even Deb or Sophie. Actually, I pretended like it had never happened in the first place.
I was taking my gloves off after realizing that it was dark out, and I had spent hours in the green house. Just when I sat them down, the door burst open. I expected to see an adult, maybe the principal of that officer. Hell, maybe Sohpie had tracked me down, but it was none of them. In fact, it was the last person I had ever expected to see.
Jinx was standing in the doorway, eyes wide and chest heaving. He looked frantic and angry. For a very intense moment, we just stared at each other. Somehow, I knew he had been looking for me. I just knew it. I don’t know how, and I don’t know why he would be in the first place, but… it just felt right. The relief I saw in his eyes as they looked over me told me I was right. And that meant more to me than I could ever express, because when I felt my loneliest, when I felt like no one was left to remember me, when I felt invisible to the world… for some reason, Jinx saw me. He remembered me. He looked for me. He worried about me.
We didn’t need words. Jinx saw my bottom lip tremble and closed the space between us in three long strides. My knees buckled as the first sob left my throat. Jinx was there in time to wrap me in his arms before I fell. And I sobbed. I’m not even sure how long it lasted either. All I knew was that I was breaking and, for some reason, he was there to anchor me. I’d never cried so much or so hard in my life. And Jinx just held me, not saying anything, not stopping me. Just holding my pieces while I fell apart in his arms.
At some point, my body must have given out. I never remembered falling asleep, but the next thing I knew, I was waking up in my room. Deb was there; she had come immediately after being given the news that her best friends had died in an accident, and that she was my godmother. Everything else is history.
As I drifted off to sleep in my cozy little cabin, all I could think about was how I never thanked Jinx for what he did for me that day. After everything with Waylen, you’d think I would have. He was mature enough to thank me for his son. Shouldn’t I do the same for what he did for me that day?
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