I kept my face averted from the camera, partially because, well, I was peeing on a stick, and also because if I saw her face when she said that … I’d lose it.
The cap went into place with a tiny click, and I balanced the test on the ledge of the mirror above the sink.
It felt important to leave the bathroom for my eternal five-minute wait, so I tugged my pants back up and went into the bedroom. And with strategic pillow placement, I propped the phone up next to me in a way where I could convince myself that Claire was cuddling in the twin-size bed with me.
“Remember when Paige and Logan first got married?” she asked. She laid down on her bed too, arranging the phone to mirror my position. “You climbed into the top bunk with me, and we’d lay like this, planning all the pranks you wanted to play on her.”
A tear slid down my temple, and my answering laugh was watery. “Yeah. Logan had been both parents for so many years, and I just wanted her to go away so I didn’t get too used to her.”
“I’m still not used to her,” Claire said dryly.
We both laughed at that.
“What’s his name?” she whispered.
Before I answered, I filled my lungs, letting them expand fully before I let the oxygen out. “Jude. I met him … and …”—I waved my hand—“well, you know that day I was at Buckingham Palace and you asked me if I was bored because I missed home?”
She smiled softly. “Yeah.”
“It was that night.”
“Ahh.” Claire was giving me worried eyes when she spoke again. “Have you seen him since?”
I shook my head. “Just some texting the past few days. He’s been busy with work.”
“And he was … is … nice?”
My shrug was pitiful. “For as much as I talked to him, he seemed like it.”
The times I thought about Jude, it wasn’t like I was reflecting on his manners.
Oh, how politely he’d ripped my underwear off!
“And you used protection?”
“Yup.” I rubbed my face.
Claire was quiet.
“I wish I was there, Lee.” She sniffed. “This is really hard.”
My hands stayed right the hell over my face. “I know.”
I wished she was with me too. I’d make her walk the mile into my tiny bathroom. I’d make her check the test against the instructions because she was more patient than I was and she’d actually read them. I’d lay in this bed until she walked out of the bathroom, until she climbed back into bed with me and told me if I was going to have a baby about a decade earlier than I’d ever planned.
“Lia, you have to go look.” Her voice was all wobbly, and I pressed my fingers into my eye sockets.
“No, I don’t.” Why were my palms wet? I licked my lips, and they came away salty.
“Yes, you do.” She sounded so gentle. So understanding. If it were me, I would’ve gone tough love drill sergeant. “You can do this, Lee.”
I dropped my hands, and when I pried my eyes open, I saw Claire crying in earnest right along with me.
“I’m scared,” I said, my voice hardly above a whisper.
“That’s okay. No matter what that thing says, we’ll figure it out, okay?”
Before I could think too hard on it—what it would mean, what it wouldn’t mean—I snatched the phone and rolled off the bed.
“Read the label first,” she said.
I smiled. “I will.”
On the back of the box, I skimmed until I saw what I needed to know, reading it out loud to Claire.
“One line is no; two lines is yes.”
She nodded. “Okay.”
Tossing the box aside, I took a second and looked at the test lying facedown on the metal ledge. It looked eight feet long lying there. In my mind, it grew bigger and bigger until I imagined it squeezing me out of the room.
“You can do it,” she said again.
With a hard puff of air out of pursed lips, I snatched the test and flipped it over.
“Holy shit,” I whispered.
Two bright ass purple lines.
Claire inhaled. “Two lines?”
My nod was jerky, and I tossed the test onto the ledge, sinking onto the floor of the bathroom with the phone clutched against me.
“Lia,” she said firmly, “I can’t see you.”
“I don’t want you to see me,” I cried. “Holy shit, Claire, I’m pregnant. I’m pregnant
!”
“Please let me see you. Not that having the camera smashed up to your boobs isn’t great, but I’d really like to see my sister’s face right now.”
Slowly, I pulled the phone back, resting my hands on my bent knees, but with my head against the wall behind me, I decided that staring up at the ceiling was a better life choice for me.
“What am I supposed to do?”
She was quiet. “I don’t know.”
“I have to tell Jude,” I murmured. “Don’t I?”
Claire sighed. “I think that’s a difficult question to answer when you don’t know what kind of person he is. But if I’m answering in generalities, then yes, I think letting him know is the right thing to do. At least give him the opportunity to support you in whatever way you need.”
Finally, I met her eyes. “And what if I don’t want to keep it?”
She held my gaze, steady as a rock, unwavering as a mountain. “Then we’ll figure that out too. You don’t have to decide anything right now, Lia. Not one single thing.”
A memory popped up, and I emitted a watery laugh. “Remember when Emmett was born?”
She laughed too. “Of course.”
New Book: Back Home to Marry Off Myself
Loredana’s father left the family for his mistress, leaving them to fend for themselves abroad. When life was at its toughest, her father showed up with “good news” after 8 years of absence: To marry off Loredana to a paralyzed son of the wealthy Mendelsohn family.