I looked at the bedside clock rubbing my eyes against the sleep I couldn’t fight. S.hit, it was almost noon.
I couldn’t remember the last time I slept so deeply. Even though it was late at night, I got more than enough sleep, more than I was used to recently. Maybe it was because it was later than I was used to. My body clock was off.
I couldn’t shake the groggy feeling, even with the happiness of the night before, even with being worried about missing something now that Caspien was long gone.
I stretched but ended up laying back down, sleep tugged at me again, and I couldn’t fight it even if I wanted to.
I woke up startled, not remembering falling back to bed.
My stomach churned, and I grabbed it, trying to stop the feeling.
I must be starving.
I sat up, but the room spun with me.
I grabbed my hair, hanging my head to my legs.
I couldn’t remember ever feeling sick, ever feeling nauseous, really.
Except when I had Emmett.
s**t.
Shock and nausea coursed through me, and I ran into the bathroom, seeking any sort of relief.
(Willa)
The next few days were spent in a blur of activity. There were last-minute things to do for the royal ceremony on top of keeping track of all these new pack members. I couldn’t keep it all sorted.
I liked figuring out the logistics part, but trying to remember who wanted what and where they were staying was not my wheelhouse. Thankfully, I had Cali for that. Her memory was unparalleled, and I loved seeing her actively taking up the Beta role. The Moon Goddess knew what she was doing, adding her to Crescent Moon.
We scheduled the pack induction ceremony two days before the royal ceremony. I was glad my biggest stress now was dealing with back-to-back ceremonies instead of trying to find a hidden assassin that went after my son.
I finally had an appointment with the doctor. I wanted to give it a few days just to make sure. That intense sickness never came back, but my tiredness was heavy.
I didn’t know how to feel about it, we weren’t trying, but we definitely weren’t not trying. We never talked about more kids, but seeing the way he was with Emmett, I knew that he would continue to be an amazing father to any other kids we had.
But I didn’t know for sure that I was pregnant, but I wasn’t worried about it. It wasn’t the same need I had with Nolan, where I was excited that it would fix everything. There wasn’t anything that Caspien and I needed to fix, so any other addition to our family would be because we chose this path, well, this one chose us, really.
It didn’t matter at the moment, I would deal with all of the emotions when I had confirmation. If I had confirmation. We would handle that together.
I was looking over a potential renovation plan for the pack cottages and some random apartments outside the packhouse on our couch when Caspien walked up to me.
“Your apartment is cleared out completely. Did you want to go back for one last look?” Caspien’s words caught me off, guard.
My apartment that was the last thing on my mind; it felt like a lifetime ago, not mere weeks.
“Yeah, I do.” My throat felt tight.
Caspien came to sit next to me on the couch, taking a hand in both of his, “What are you thinking?” He asked.
“Weird,” I shrugged, “I am over the moon, happy, ecstatic, all those things about the life I have with you. I just don’t think I’ve had time to process everything. We’ve jumped from one thing to the next and I now have to go back and re-look at everything. I just it just hit me by surprise,” I shrugged.
“It was a great apartment,” Caspien said, “I can’t lie,” I gave him a look, “Not to you, at least,” He amended, smiling, “I am happy that you both are here making a home with me, I can’t say that I understand it from my experiences, but I can sympathize.”
He took a deep breath but his eyes never left mine, “I know you, and I understand that this might not have been the most opportune time for you to find me, but I hope that you can still feel independent and grow and change alongside me. You know you have the freedom to do whatever you want, even if it’s stepping away from what you’re doing now, not me, of course, but Luna duties.” His smile was playful, rare.
“I do, I know that.” I placed my other hand on top of his. I knew that we were independent as people as well despite what we created together, “I don’t want to step away from any of it. This is my wildest dreams realized.”
“Want to go for some closure then?” He asked. I nodded, wanting to put that space and the strange feelings swirling through me behind me, “I’ll go get Emmett.” He kissed the back of my hand and helped me stand.
I really didn’t want him to think that I was sacrificing anything being with him, because I wasn’t. Timing wasn’t everything, it would never be exactly right, and I grew and changed so much since I met him, I wouldn’t go back and change it for the world.
The apartment was as I remembered when I first walked into it before summer began. Completely empty, with exposed brick walls, and beams that were less a design choice and more leaning into the apartment’s age and roots.
It felt a bit weird to see it without the mismatched furniture we collected, and I wondered what had happened to it all, but I realized that it didn’t matter.
I walked into the space, holding both Caspiens and Emmett’s hands.
“The place feels different,” Emmett said, dropping my hand to go back to his room, “It’s still blue!” He shouted.
I remembered how my dad painted that when I was away during one of my first days here, trying to figure out classes and working and taking care of my son. It was stressful then but looking back on it from where I was made the memories beautiful. My parents were back in my life on a daily basis, and even though they were with Caspien’s parents helping people get settled near their old packhouse at the moment, they were still here, they didn’t have to leave, not anymore.
“Do you think I’ll get the security deposit back?” I asked Caspien leaning into him. He technically did own the building.
He thought about it for a moment, “I think we can swing it,” He wrapped an arm around me.
We walked through the space that now felt so small. It held memories I would never forget. The first time I got ready for a date with Caspien was here, and the first time Emmett and I stayed alone was here.
Our sleepovers with Cali and Loreli, tired pizza nights, studying past the time I should have been in bed. I would have those memories forever.
“We can keep it if you want,” Caspien came behind me while I was leaning in the door frame, “To come back to, stay over sometimes.”
“No,” I said resolutely, it wouldn’t be the same; we moved on, “I want others to make memories here.”
“I’ll give you some time alone; I’ll be in the car when you’re ready.” Caspien squeezed my hand and left.
I met Emmett in the front room and grabbed his hand, “Are you sad to leave?” I asked him.
Emmett shrugged but shook his head, “Let’s go home, Mama.” He tugged me out.
And so we did. We went home.
The next morning, Caspien had my tacky mug collection out on full display on the kitchen counter, his little matching white mugs were nowhere to be seen.
“Congratulations, Luna.” The doctor looked at me, “You’re pregnant.”
I heard those words before, almost the exact same ones.
I was shocked, terrified, but mostly happy. We weren’t expecting this, but I would have a child with the love of my life. Emmett was going to be a big brother. “Are you sure?” I asked him.
“I am,” The doctor smiled, “Now, let’s talk about upcoming appointments.”
I sat between Caspien and Cali at the diner we once worked at. Cali forgot to pick up her last paycheck and even though she had a salary with Crescent Moon and I’m sure Holden had more generational wealth than he could account for. She had to get her last few dollars. “I earned them with my literal sweat and occasional tears.” She told me.
I couldn’t argue with that, so we went back. I felt a bit guilty leaving the job on such short notice, but they replaced us within a few days, so I couldn’t feel that bad.
“Coffee?” The waitress seemed nervous, shifting on her feet.
I wasn’t sure if it was because of Caspien’s presence or if she was new. I wondered if I ever looked that nervous here, but I already knew the answer to that. I was completely out of my wheelhouse here, and I felt like I was drowning for more shifts than I cared to admit.
New Book: Back Home to Marry Off Myself
Loredana’s father left the family for his mistress, leaving them to fend for themselves abroad. When life was at its toughest, her father showed up with “good news” after 8 years of absence: To marry off Loredana to a paralyzed son of the wealthy Mendelsohn family.