“Whatever.” And just like that, she waved away my flying hearts towards her-the poor hearts falling on the ground, now broken and weeping silent tears.
“Bummer.” I muttered, turning around and making my way to my bedroom. The minute I stepped in, I leaned down to remove the shoes I had on, tucking them aside before taking off the coat on my shoulder, placing it on the nearby couch before making my way to the en-suite.
There, I turned on the bathtub water, threw in a few shower bombs in it and added lavender essential oil and a few drops of my favorite, Jo Malone moisturizing bath oil. Though it’s not late at night, I happen to be a sucker of a good scenting environment when I’m in need of a clear mind. So, I brought out two bubble candles, and lit them up, respectively placing them where they belong.
I turned off the water when I noticed it has reached a certain level I want, my hand sinking beneath it to check the temperature. Once satisfied by it, I got out of my dress, and then got into the bathtub, the warm water instantly soothing my sore muscles.
My eyes flicked close once I had fully immersed myself under the water, my head thrown back as I allowed my body to go limb. I remained in that position for a while, simply enjoying the feeling of being underwater-almost as if I was floating, though I know I wasn’t.
At one point, I decided to scrub my body and get rid of any trace whatsoever is meant to be on my body. At one point when the water started to become cold, I stepped out and drained it, before slipping on a robe and making my way back to the bedroom.
I walked directly to the walk in closet, settling down on the stool by the vanity table. I pick out all my body oils and rubbed it all over my body. Just as I reached my feet, my hands stopped just a little above my heels, noticing the now wet band aid there, making my lips slant downwards into a frown.
Growing up in a hole where balls and events of such sorts were norm, I’m used to wearing heels and stuff. However, it doesn’t mean it has stopped making my legs hurt, I just choose to suck it in because I know I don’t have a choice, it comes at the price of being part of my life, so, I don’t bother to complain.
I peeled off the wet band aid, because there’s no use leaving it there. My eyes fell on the red spots there-caused by walking around in my heels. If possible, my frown deepened because as far as I’m concerned, I don’t remember putting on a band aid.
I wore the heels knowing it would cause me pain, and went the ball like that. I didn’t have the time to focus on my legs, nor on my shoes even. Frankly speaking, I have no recollection of taking off the shoes. Which mean, if I wasn’t the one that put it on, then there was only one person I was with throughout the night that could’ve done so… A certain face with a boyish smile flashed in my eyes, making my face heat up almost instantly.
“No, it can’t be.” I shook my head, waving my head in the process as if I’m trying to convince myself and someone else as well. “It couldn’t have been.” I muttered to myself, my thumb caressing the skin underneath the red spots, the action slowing as the face flashed in front of my eyes again.
Only this time, instead of the smug smile I saw earlier, I felt as though I was having a flashback of last night. His face, it sported a frown and a crease of worry formed between his brows, his eyes set on mine. His lips moved, he said something to me but I can’t remember what.
“Could it?” I found myself muttering in a small voice, a sigh escaping my lips.
I blinked, my gaze moving from my feet to stare ahead, part the opened door to the chair in my direct line of sight, where I had neatly draped the coat he had given me, and underneath it, the flat shoes he had gifted me that may have had a meaning which I hadn’t seen earlier.
I stared at them quietly for a few seconds, before I shook my head softly, blowing out a small breath. “I’m overthinking stuff again.” I mumbled, dropping my legs on the carpeted floor. My fingers ran through my hair, which I packed into a small bun, using a small hair band to hold it in place. “I don’t even know his name.” It’s funny isn’t it? I don’t know who he is, nor do I even know his name. And yet, I’m here thinking about him and the things he may or may not have done.
I turned around to stare at myself in the mirror, staring at the woman that looked back at me. The woman I see in the mirror somehow looks like the woman I was a few months back, she had a similar look in her eyes, a look I had vowed not to ever have again. It wasn’t that of sadness. It was…longing.
I sighed, shaking my head yet again as I closed my eyes, then opened it again. “Snap out of it, Isabella.” I said to myself, staring at myself in the mirror. “Remember, you promise to not be swayed again. Let’s not allow history to repeat itself, hmm?” My lips slanted upwards into a smile, a forced one that I would keep putting on till it becomes real.
This is who I am now. This is who I was forced to become.
***
Isabella Montague.
“What are you making? It smells nice.” I announced, as I entered the kitchen where Amy is, by the cooker making whatever it is that’s making me salivate.
She didn’t turn around, her attention on the pot in front of her. “Chicken noodle soup for your hangover.” She declared. I parted my lips to offer an excuse out of eat the soup, but before I could, she added. “Forget about weight gain for once. You need to eat more, you look skinny.”
I folded my lips in, swallowing back my complain since it appears she knows me quite a lot and knows that I would’ve used that to get out of eating this no doubt. I’ve been really strict on my meals. I’ve finally reached the exact body I want, or need to survive in this world anyway, so, I want to maintain it.
Eating stuff like noodle soup just means more calories for me which is what I’m trying to avoid. However, her tone showed she wouldn’t take any excuse from me, so I gave up.
“Aye aye captain.” I offered her a mock salute, to which I can practically see her rolling her eyes to.
New Book: Back Home to Marry Off Myself
Loredana’s father left the family for his mistress, leaving them to fend for themselves abroad. When life was at its toughest, her father showed up with “good news” after 8 years of absence: To marry off Loredana to a paralyzed son of the wealthy Mendelsohn family.