Yet, I can’t feel a goddamn thing.
Right as I exit the building, I inhale fresh air and meet a frantic Jay. I cough a few times, clearing my lungs as best I can before I take another puff on my cigarette.
“Seriously, dude? You’re smoking while burning down a building? You literally just inhaled a shit ton from the fire.”
Ignoring him, I walk around to the back where the corpse hangs from the rope. Smoke licks at the edges of the window, and while the bedsheets are beginning to burn, I had purposely left them dry.
I bring the cigarette to my lips and inhale one last time before flicking it onto the doctor, his body instantly igniting.
I smile, smoke curling out from between my bared teeth.
That’s better.
A beacon to let every motherfucker in my path know what is coming for them next-a beast that has made a home within the fire.
These flames will die, but the ones in Hell are eternal.
I’ll see you there, fucker.
Satisfied, I turn my back to the inferno I’ve breathed to life and walk away.
I told my mouse I would stop littering, but something tells me she wouldn’t mind just this once.
Chapter 12
The Diamond
“How’s it feel to be a failure?” a voice whispers from behind me.
It instantly evokes chills down my spine. I whip around, her face inches from mine, causing me to jerk back. My fist curls, tempted to send it flying into her fucking nose.
I was standing in my room, just about to unbutton my jeans and look at the damage, when she snuck up behind me.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” I hiss. She just stares at me with wide dark eyes, a smile frozen on her creepy fucking face.
I swallow, unsettled, and thoroughly weirded the hell out.
“I think the better question is what isn’t wrong with me,” she retorts, giggling as she does. She rocks up on her toes, her eyes gliding up and down my ravaged body.
Francesca took us out into the back of the woods-a practice run for the Culling. She and her men used plastic arrows to track us down, shooting them at us like we’re fawn running from a hunter’s hungry stomach.
The objective is not to get hit, and the burning in the back of my thigh is a constant reminder of how epically I failed. I came so close to succeeding, but then Sydney happened.
She was waiting for me and stuck out her foot right as I passed by, Francesca’s arrows nipping at my heels. I face-planted the cold earth, and by the time I got back up, an arrow was ripping through the air and piercing the back of my thigh.
It didn’t break the skin, but I can tell I’m going to wake up with a nasty bruise tomorrow. Though, I’m sure it’ll be swallowed up by the others when I receive my punishment.
“What the fuck did I ever do to you?” I snap, throwing my arms out to the sides. Her smile grows, the gleam in her eye a testament just how unhinged she is. “We are in the same exact situation. Why are you acting like this?”
“I heard Francesca talking about you soon after you got here. Said you were promising and might be her best girl yet if she can correct your attitude. Then yesterday, you went and got yourself raped, and I saw her face. I saw her almost step in. And she’s never done that for me or any of the other girls. But then-” she holds a finger up in the air- “Then, you punch Rocco and break his nose. He wanted to punish you for it, and you know what she did? She took the punishment for you instead. That’s definitely never been done for any of us.”
My brows knit, confused as to why Francesca would do something like that.
“She’s giving you privileges that we don’t get because she thinks you’re special. Well guess what, diamond, I don’t think you’re special at all.”
Doesn’t really matter what you think, does it, bitch?
I’m not exactly sure if Francesca will stand by her confidence in me now that I’ve failed the test today, but determination cements into my bones anyway.
If she sees potential in me-if she’s going as far as to protect me-then there’s a good chance I can get her to see me as a person.
We’re seen as cattle. Product to mold to perfection and then ship off to the highest bidder. However, the more she sees me as something other than just a price tag, the more she’ll soften toward me. That could mean letting her guard down. Letting information slip or getting privileges that could assist with my escape.
My thoughts race with the possibilities that could mean for me. I know that I won’t be exempt from the horror that comes hand-in-hand with human trafficking, but I might be able to save myself from some of it.
Sydney understands this, and maybe rightfully so, she’s not happy with it. There’s a power imbalance, and the other girls might start to feel the same.
“We’re all leaving this place,” I remind her. “Soon, we’ll be shipped off to whoever pays the most money, and how Francesca treats me won’t matter anymore.”
“It does matter,” she snarls. “I want to stay here, and she won’t let me now that you’ve shown up. You heard her.”
I set my jaw. Sydney doesn’t want to see the diamond shine because that means she’ll be expected to as well. And when we shine, that means we are good enough to be sold. Francesca cares about one thing above all else-her reputation. And there’s only one thing Sydney wants more than anything-not to be sold-which must be why she acts out so badly and causes trouble. Her punishments are worth it, as long as Francesca never sees her as fit to be auctioned.
“Why do you want to stay here so badly?”
“Because it’s my home. I have nothing outside of this house, and I would rather be here than stuck with some fat, old man with a worm dick. And you are ruining that!”
I blink. Interesting depiction, but not entirely wrong either.
“You get raped here, too, Sydney,” I point out.
She shrugs. “It’s not so bad. It’s what I’m used to and comfortable with.”
Another blink. How one could settle into the life of being raped and beaten is beyond me, but she’s hinted at having nowhere else to go. This tells me a life outside of this house for Sydney is bleak. Nonexistent. Most likely filled with nights on the streets and random men.
And I suppose being in a house with the monsters you know is safer than a man who paid money and believes they own her.
Men have this funny habit of thinking they’re entitled to women, especially when they don’t respect them. As if their respect is a determining factor on how women deserve to be treated.
At least the men in this house have rules and limitations on what they can do to us. Mainly mutilating or causing permanent damage. Men on the streets or the ones who buy us at an auction-they don’t have rules.
“So that’s it,” I say. “You’re going to continue to terrorize me because you want to cheat the system when none of us will get that option. Maybe it’s you who thinks they’re special when you’re not.”
She giggles a high-pitched sound that grinds my nerves to dust. And then she turns and walks away without a word, casting an indecipherable look over her shoulder.
Who we’re fighting over would rather see us shipped off to the highest bidder, and she’s not just causing me to fail a test, she’s actively inflicting trauma on me.
New Book: Back Home to Marry Off Myself
Loredana’s father left the family for his mistress, leaving them to fend for themselves abroad. When life was at its toughest, her father showed up with “good news” after 8 years of absence: To marry off Loredana to a paralyzed son of the wealthy Mendelsohn family.