“You’re what’s kept me from ordering the destruction of half the city in the pursuit of destroying the other bosses.” “Maybe that’s not a good thing. It would be over with by now that way,” I said,
“Not necessarily. I would’ve unleashed my own chaos on the city. Chaos is loud. It’s disordered. There’s always collateral damage. Usually more than necessary. You don’t want chaos in these kinds of situations. Chaos is unpredictable, too.” He unwrapped my hands from the cold towel, pulling me down from the chair. He kept my hand in his as he led me to the bathroom. “Violence, on the other hand. Violence is quiet. It’s effective. Because it’s quiet. No one sees it coming until it’s too late. You can control the collateral damage with effective violence. You can predict the outcome when you use calculated violence. Without you, there would’ve been chaos. With you, there’s going to be calculated violence. See the difference?” he asked as he grabbed my hips and lifted me onto the counter in the bathroom.
“I think so,” I said. I was still somewhat puzzled.
He started to rub the amica cream on the knuckles of one hand as he continued. “When I was younger, my anger couldn’t be controlled. I left a path of destruction wherever I went. Viktor helped me rein it in, but it’s never been truly controlled until you came into my life.” I was watching his face as he was talking. He was watching what he was doing, but he would glance at me periodically. “You don’t even realize what a savage monster you’ve tamed, without even trying.” He chuckled. “He II, you don’t even need to see me or be near me to know that I’m about to lose control now. When you were in the ring with Mike? As soon as those words came out of his mouth, I was ready to kill him. There would’ve been no stopping me, either, and I knew it. I wanted it. I’ve gotten to that point before and it took all five guys to pull me off the guy. Ivan was still an arm down, so they had no chance. I knew that. I was basically salivating at knowing I was going to beat him to death for saying that to you. Then you turned and looked at me.” He paused, to switch hands. He stole a glance and couldn’t help but smile when he saw I was still looking at him. “That’s all It took. I was still angry, sure. But that bloodlust that has never been controllable before, it just disappears when you look at me. I have no idea how you do it, but I know that I will d ie trying to protect you because of it.” He looked in my eyes for a moment. A faint smile on his face as he lightly pushed a few curls back from my face. “Part of protecting you, Sephie, is helping to keep you safe from your own darkness and the demons you think live there. You’ve taught all of us how to be friends with our demons. Let me help you learn to be friends with yours.”
I couldn’t help but remember Ms. Jackson’s words from so many months ago. “You offer him something that he’s never had before. He’ll d ie to protect it. To protect you.
Adrik
I kept my usual battle with Sephie’s curls going as I watched her think about what I’d just told her. She would glance at me periodically, so I knew she wasn’t zoning out again. I was trying to think of the right words to say to her. I knew she kept her past locked up and she’d been forced to open it all up since meeting me.
It’s one thing when you can somewhat control when and how you tell someone about your past. It’s quite another when you’re forced to divulge information before you’re ready. Sephie hadn’t been able to control telling us about any of her past, because of circumstances outside her control. That alone can be traumatic. Then you add in having to relive her trauma and I was worried it was becoming too much for her.
She looked at me and I felt my heart skip. She still had that half-confused, doe-eyed look on her face that just made her irresistible. “Ms. Jackson told me months ago, when you first moved her to the building, that I offered you something you’d never had before, and you’d die to protect it.” She had a small smile on her face. “How did she know?”
I chuckled, brushing another curl back from her face. “She’s had me pegged since the first night I came to your apartment. She saw me get out of the vehicle and look at your apartment building. She told me she could see it plainly that I was in love with you then.” I twirled her curl around my finger, looking at her innocence. “She’s right, you know.”
I could see the smile creep across her face. “She told me you were in love with me when we got home from the grocery store that day. I didn’t fully believe her until you moved them downstairs.” Her gaze dropped to her hands. Her fingers started to fidget, first on her pants, then she moved to my shirt and the buttons as she lifted her gaze slightly. I could see that her mind was going a mile a minute. She sighed, then looked me in the eyes again. “I’m not keeping you out on purpose.” She dropped her gaze again, still fussing with the buttons on my shirt. “The stuff that’s happened to me… It’s just… It’s a rough story and I can clearly see how it affects everyone that finds out about it. It’s like having my own trauma reflected back to me. Then I feel bad and want to comfort the other person because I just traumatized them with my story. Meanwhile, my wounds just got deeper.”
I started to say something, but she stopped me. She placed her hand on my chest, looking at me again. “You’re different, though. And I didn’t realize it until just now. I don’t know how you do it, but you don’t reflect it back to me. Ivan, too.” She thought for a moment, then almost whispered, “I think my dad was right.”
“Your dad was right about what, solnishko?”
Adrik
She looked up at me, like she was considering whether she should tell me something. She finally shrugged her shoulders. “Pretty sure you already know I’m mostly crazy. Remember when I told you I talked to my dad in a dream when we were at the ranch house in Italy?” I nodded my head. “It happened again alter we got home from the hospital when Ivan almost died.” “And what did he tell you this time?” I asked, now curious, I think she was worried I would think she was in sane, but her father helped save our lives when we were in Italy. I owed him. “He told me that we’re soulmates, for one. That we’ve met each other and fallen in love again and again over lifetimes.” She peaked up at me, half afraid that I wasn’t going to believe her. “No offense to your father, I still owe him one, but I feel like that’s obvious, Sephie,” I said, grinning at her.
Her gorgeous smile stretched across her face. “He also told me that the rest of us are linked in similar ways. Like there’s a reason we’re all together. Ivan, especially.” Her gaze dropped once more, like she wasn’t sure how much detail she should give1.
“Linked how?” I asked, still battling with the curls around her face.
“Like with Misha. My dad said I’m helping him to hone his gift of being able to tell when something is or isn’t going to go right.”
“I completely believe that, especially after what happened at the ball and then Italy. I won’t make a serious decision without consulting him ever again. Although I’m still confused how he missed that day that you went to the piano gallery when they tried to grab you,” I said. My finger traced lightly down her face as she talked.
“I asked the same thing. He said no one saw it until it was almost too late. It was the first time my dad had to intervene, but then he said he really didn’t need to because Ivan had it covered.” She paused for a minute, then looked up at me. That was a very important day for Ivan. He took my dad’s job. He officially became my protector.” She said it quietly, like she was almost scared to say it out loud.
“What does that mean?” I asked, now even more curious.
“Just like you and I are connected over many lifetimes, so are Ivan and 1. My dad said we’ve spent many lifetimes together too.”
I thought for a minute. I could feel her eyes on me as I thought back to the first time I met Ivan. He saved me and Viktor and got us into and out of a very difficult situation safely. I remember feeling like I had known Ivan for much longer than a couple of days when I offered him a job. In contrast, I waited a few weeks minimum, usually a few months, to offer a job to the rest of the guys. Even with not knowing everything about Ivan’s past, I still felt closer to Ivan more quickly than the other guys.
“The same way you and I have spent lifetimes together? Because I can tell you right now, this lifetime doesn’t involve sharing.” I said. I couldn’t help but smirk at her as I sold it.
She laughed loudly. “Nooooo. No sharing. Not like that, you perv. I’m pretty sure Ivan has always been my protector In some way. My dad said he feels compelled to protect me. Ivan sald that was true. Even before he knew I was different, he felt compelled to protect me.”
I wrapped my arms around her, smiling at her laughter. I leaned down and kissed her lips gently. “Ok, no sharing. We’ve all seen how much closer you and (van have become since the kidnapping attempt. I think Andrel might even be a little Jealous of it sometimes, if I’m being honest. I meant to make her laugh, but instead she looked troubled.
“He is?” she asked.
I nodded my head. “He liked being your favorite in the beginning. You know Andrel and Misha are the sensitive ones. It was a confidence boost for Andrei when you got close to him before anyone else. Now that you’re close with all of them, he doesn’t feel as special anymore.”
“How do you know this? Has he talked to you about it?” she asked. She was clearly worried about it.
New Book: Back Home to Marry Off Myself
Loredana’s father left the family for his mistress, leaving them to fend for themselves abroad. When life was at its toughest, her father showed up with “good news” after 8 years of absence: To marry off Loredana to a paralyzed son of the wealthy Mendelsohn family.