It was the tremble that had me walking away as she asked.
ISABEL
One thing I couldn’t hold against Aiden was how well he listened.
Like I’d asked, he stayed away.
Like I’d asked, he let me get back to work.
Even though I wasn’t teaching, I did just about everything else simply to stay busy. If I slowed, I would scream, just to have an outlet for my frustration. Not that he could’ve known the type of restless energy this distance caused in me.
Because the worst feeling in the world was falling in love with someone who wasn’t capable of returning that love in the way you needed. As I made the finishing touches on setting up for the self-defense class on my last day of work before Molly’s wedding, I kept thinking about Brooke.
I thought of the look I’d seen on her face the night before she left.
There was a resolve there that still made my stomach curl up unpleasantly when I thought of it. The love of Logan and Paige couldn’t erase it entirely, though it helped as much as anything could.
Telling Aiden how I felt about him was the closest I could come to baring myself to him completely. Standing naked in front of him would feel less vulnerable than this silence did. Because I had no guarantees that he’d ever love me like I wanted him to. Like I knew he was capable.
I’d never had the chance to beg Brooke to stay. So many years later, I knew I wouldn’t, even given the chance. But it still triggered the same uncomfortable edginess as if I had.
Which was why I threw myself into the work I could do.
I sat at the front desk, the gym’s pleasant sounds behind me filtering into my thoughts as I readied everything for the class. The front door opened, and Casey walked in, followed by three other girls.
“Morning,” I told her. “You ready to beat people up?”
They laughed.
“Okay, we won’t be beating anyone up, but go ahead and partner up. I marked out spots in the main open area. There should be two of you in each section.”
Casey gave me a once-over. “What happened to you?”
I touched the bandage, which was soon to be removed, using the hand still in an ugly black brace. “I had a mishap with a tree branch that decided not to hold me any longer.”
“Ouch.” She winced. “You won’t be teaching today then?”
“I’ll be on the mic walking everyone through the moves, but I’ll have some help from our trainers.”
Kelly, Gavin, and Grady were already warming up, along with a couple of others, and I had a feeling Aiden would be helping too, even though he’d yet to come out of his office.
Casey went to join her friends, and I stayed busy, greeting the girls who came through the front door with their smiles and nervous energy. By the time everyone on the list had arrived, we had a full gym, and the vibe was different than a typical class, that I found myself feeling a little nervous.
Aiden stood in the doorway of his office, watching the energetic buzz in the room with a slight smile on his face. But when his eyes met mine, his smile fell. His gaze sharpened, and even with the distance between us, the intensity of it was like a knife blade. Completely lethal if you pressed on it hard enough.
So I looked down and finished hooking the mic up.
“All right, everyone. Welcome to Hennessy’s Gym, for what is hopefully the first of many classes like this.” The girls clapped excitedly. I motioned for Gavin and Kelly to join me in front of them. “These are my helpers. They’ll be demonstrating all the basic self-defense moves we want to teach you today, and I’ll be walking around helping you guys while you practice. So will Grady and Aiden.” I made eye contact with everyone. “If you only want me or Kelly to help you, please just raise your hand at any point if you’re struggling, and we’ll be right over.”
I held up my wrist. “Unfortunately, I won’t be kicking anyone’s ass today because I got in a fight with a tree and lost, but trust me … we’ll be able to inflict some damage together, okay?”
The small ripple of laughter eased some of the excited tension.
Over the next hour, I found my new favorite part of my job. By the time we finished, there was yelling and cheering and more than one male trainer hitting the mat with a thud.
I laughed when Casey managed to push Gavin to his knee. “You guys are savage, I love it.”
Some of them stayed afterward to keep practicing, and it was then I noticed Anya sitting on the edge of the center boxing ring. She waved at me, toothless grin bringing a smile onto my face.
I walked over to her. “When did you get here?”
She kicked her legs back and forth. “About halfway through. My uncle Clark dropped me off. He said I should learn how to beat the boys up for when I get older.”
I laughed. “Well, we only use stuff like this if someone is trying to hurt us or one of our friends.”
Anya’s face pinched up thoughtfully. “Have you ever had to do that to someone?”
“Nope. And I’m very thankful for that.”
Her eyebrows were still lowered.
“What is it?” I asked.
“Are you … gentle?”
My head tilted. “What do you mean, sweetheart?”
Anya’s big blue eyes searched mine, and again, I got the feeling she was trying to figure out something that was much more serious than I could guess. “Do you sing lullabies even though you aren’t a good singer?”
I blew out a breath, glancing over my shoulder to see if Aiden was anywhere in earshot, which he wasn’t. “Not really,” I admitted.
Anya nodded, still deep in thought.
“Why do you ask?” I asked gently.
Oh, her eyes when she looked up at me, I had the strangest sensation that she was about to rip my heart from my chest, and when she spoke, I wasn’t wrong.
“You’re different than I thought you’d be.”
“What?” I whispered.
“My mommy told me she’d be sweet and gentle, and bake me cookies and sing me lullabies when I couldn’t sleep, but you’re different.”
My heart skipped erratically as she spoke, and I wasn’t sure which impulse was stronger—to cover my ears at what she said, or wrap her in my arms and let her know that love came in so many different forms.
At my back, Aiden approached without sound. But I felt him all the same.
“Anya,” he said quietly. “Why don’t you go play in my office.”
She smiled up at me, then hopped off the edge of the ring, scampering off to his office.
I covered my mouth, my eyelids falling shut.
“Isabel …” he started.
I turned, and his voice faded at whatever he meant to say next.
“I cannot even imagine how hard it must be to think about moving on,” I said quietly. “I’ve never …” I paused. “I’ve never been married or engaged. Never found someone who made me want any of that until now,” I admitted. His eyes blazed. I forced the words out, and each one felt like glass in my throat. “Losing that”—I pressed a hand over my heart—“it must have been hell on earth.”
New Book: Back Home to Marry Off Myself
Loredana’s father left the family for his mistress, leaving them to fend for themselves abroad. When life was at its toughest, her father showed up with “good news” after 8 years of absence: To marry off Loredana to a paralyzed son of the wealthy Mendelsohn family.