His cheeks were a soft pink and his blue eyes were watery and red.
“I don’t want you to keep this in any longer okay? This isn’t your burden to carry any longer..and I am going to make damn sure of it.” I gritted through my teeth, making Caspian fill with surprise. I could tell he was still drunk and this was a lot for him already so I just took his hand and helped him stand.
“Come on, let’s go look for shells like we used to..then we will figure out what to do together okay? But I think we need to tell Alder and Ben first..they deserve to know as well.” I spoke gently, making Caspian nod his head as he looked so fragile right now for being such a big tattooed hockey player.
“Don’t worry, you won’t go through this alone..not anymore, okay?” I reassured.
I know Caspian has been a dick..but maybe this is what will help us build that bridge..I know I won’t forget everything and what he did to me..but him telling the truth, that’s a start.
(Caspian)
I turned my head, my body feeling warm and comfortable as I inhaled deeply, smelling the sweet scent of honey as I pried my eyes open and peered down.
That’s when I saw her..Johnnie was laying with me as the mere sight of her made all the air rush out of me…she was like a damn angel with her golden hair cascading across my chest.
Johnnie Turner..who knew you were such a cuddler.
She had her arms wrapped around my waist, her cheek was pressed up flush against my chest as her short legs tangled with mine. He was wearing one of my shirts again and I could feel my cock poking against her lower stomach as I swallowed hard.
Fuck..I could get used to this.
Then I started to remember..the way Johnnie played the piano so beautifully, the notes wrapping around me and bringing me a type of comfort I had longed for.
Then things were a slight blur from there until we got to the beach..I confessed everything. I told her about our parents and she held me..she told me she was here for me and I wouldn’t have to go through this alone.
After that we walked the beach hand in hand..she kept peering up at me with those big grey eyes that took my breath away.
We snuck back into the house and she brought me to her room..then something about a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and that’s when I passed out.
Now..now I am waking up to her two days in a row..and despite the fact that I have a killer fucking headache..I haven’t slept this damn good before everything happened.
I try not to drink usually..because I know what it leads to and I can’t jeopardize my scholarship like that. So I try not to touch the stuff..I saw what it did to Ben, and I know how much it hurt Johnnie..so maybe that was part of the reason too.
Then another memory suddenly flashed through me..how my bullying made her question why she was still alive..that shit..that was the worst thing I have ever heard.
I have been such a fucking asshole..and I didn’t even realize it. I became so consumed with seeing her and drawing out some type of emotion from her that I didn’t even think of how she would live with that.
I feel disgusted with myself..but I vow to make up for it..I vow to prove myself and show her just how incredible I think she is.
I peered down once more, her mouth was directly above the first tattoo I had ever gotten. One that meant more to me than all the rest.
That butterfly symbolizes a lot to me..and the reason why it is over my heart is because who I got it for is the only one who would ever truly have my heart.
We were ten years old at the time and it was Johnnie’s birthday party. She had a princess theme of course and my mom made me go..I was the only boy there so it was kind of awkward.
But after the party was over, Heather handed out goodie bags and I stayed back with Johnnie since my mom was helping clean up.
We dumped all the stuff out on the floor as Johnnie rifled through it.
“Oh here..you might like this, it can be for boys too.” She suddenly claimed, making me glance down at her palm in disbelief.
In her hand now sat a temporary butterfly tattoo made of blue and pink. I blinked my eyes rapidly before pointing at it.
“You think THAT is for boys?” I asked, seeing her head bob up and down.
“I think it will look pretty on you.” Johnnie smiled, making me shake my head no.
“No way, I’m not putting that thing on me.” I said vehemently, wanting to just go home and play some xbox..I had to sit through a damn tea party for Christ’s sake.
“Please..it is my birthday after all.” She pouted, making me frown as we sat there looking at one another for a few seconds.
“Fineee.” I groaned before flopping back onto the plush carpet and raising my hand into the air. It was always hard to say no to her.
Johnnie hopped up excitedly and ran to the kitchen, making me grow more agitated by the second.
“Okay, let me see.” She rushed out before sitting next to me and taking my arm.
I just closed my eyes and turned my head.
“You know Cas..I think this will make you look even tougher.” She muttered, prompting me to peek out of one eye as I saw the most adorable look on her face as she tried to concentrate.
“And why do you think that?” I scoffed, not believing a thing this girl was saying.
“Because..it shows you don’t care what people will think..you will wear it just because you like it.” She added, making me snap my eyes open now before studying her carefully.
“Who said I like it.” I muttered, making her roll her eyes before glancing down at me.
“You always like looking at the butterflies when we go for walks.” She stated matter of fact..and okay..she had me there..but I wasn’t going to tell anyone about it.
My dad was the type of man who said boys do boy stuff and never allowed us to have anything remotely girly in the house.
“There..perfect..” She squealed before pulling her hand away and admiring her work.
“Isn’t it pretty Cas?” She asked me and I sat up, peering down at the butterfly for a brief moment before lifting my gaze towards Johnnie. I nodded my head softly, feeling different about what she said as I took it to heart.
After that..I began not caring about what people thought..and Johnnie was right..it made me seem tougher. Yeah at first people would make fun of my pink shirt or the fact that I saw a girly movie with my girl best friend, but once I was passive about it..they left me alone and actually admired me for it.
That’s why I got that butterfly tattoo as my first..because she gave it to me..she showed me that it was okay to be myself and I even put a small J hidden in the wing.
Just for her..even if she hated me and I ruined our friendship..she was always the first one I thought of from the moment I woke up and she was the last one I thought about after I shut my eyes to go to sleep.
So yeah, butterflies are pretty damn cool, and so is Johnnie..she was the bravest person I knew before everything happened..and then I did my part to ruin that.
New Book: Back Home to Marry Off Myself
Loredana’s father left the family for his mistress, leaving them to fend for themselves abroad. When life was at its toughest, her father showed up with “good news” after 8 years of absence: To marry off Loredana to a paralyzed son of the wealthy Mendelsohn family.