Eventually, when the night grew older, I felt the door creek open and without even turning around, I knew whom it is. I didn’t move an inch from my position as I heard his heavy steps take further steps into the room.
From the corner of my eyes, I saw him drop his briefcase on the bed, then he settled beside it and silence ensued for what felt like eternity. Neither of us spoke for the minutes that dragged, till he broke it.
“We need to talk.”
I sighed, then flicked my narrowed gaze in his direction, not saying a word. I have too much to say, but I’d let him go first because I don’t even know where to start. James sighed as well, looking around for a brief second before he met my gaze again. I don’t know what I was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t the words that left his lips.
“Let’s get divorced.” He declared, his tone holding no trace of lark whatsoever.
My eyes widened, and my lips parted. The earlier shock I was in that I couldn’t get out of was suddenly no longer there, and instead, I was replaced with another shock but for an entirely different reason. I no doubt was gaping like a fish. “W…What?” I know what I heard, and I heard him clear as day and yet, I wished it’s some sick joke.
James’s expression didn’t falter in the slightest, he held my gaze dead in the eye, then repeated those heartbreaking words. “Let’s get divorced, Isa.” His hands intertwined in front of him. “I can’t do this anymore. I can’t live with you as my wife anymore.”
I blinked, shaking my head slowly as I dropped my legs to the floor, my hands resting limb by my sides. “You don’t mean that…” I shook my head, in a phase of complete denial. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes, but they were yet to fall. “…you certainly don’t mean that, right?”
“Isa, do I look like I’m joking?” He doesn’t. He was never one to joke around, whatever he says is firm like steel. He wasn’t one to laugh, or do all those vanilla things in a relationship. He’s brooding, and cold. But, I love him that way.
I swallowed thickly, my heart chirping away. “No, but…” I hated how small my voice sounded. “…James,” I pushed myself off my spot, then made my way to stand in front of him. “did I do something wrong? If I did, please tell me and I’d change. Am I too fat? I’ll slim down, I promise I would.” I remember him complaining on more occasions than one that I’m too fat.
So, I cut my meals down to one meal a day, just so I can be the type of slim woman he wants. I guess, I’ve been careless these days, even going for three meals a day because he doesn’t complain anymore.
But, apparently, I’m still fat. I’d go back to eating just vegetables if I have to, no calories whatsoever. The woman he was with earlier, she’s slim and beautiful, unlike me. I’ll become like her if I have to.
James closed his eyes, turning his head to the side.
“James,” I called out softly. “Please don’t do this to me, to us…” The tears that welled up in my eyes earlier on came cascading, but I had no strength I me to wipe it. Not when my heart hurts way too much. “I’ll be more tolerant, I’ll be better. Just tell me where I lack and I’ll–“
“JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!” He screamed, making me halt almost immediately because he had never raised his voice at me. I’m honestly stunned.
My eyes dilated, as I stared at the man that resembles the man I’ve loved since highschool, the one I’ve given my heart to and devoted to since I was a teenage girl, and at that moment, he embodied a man I don’t know.
James glared at me, as he got on his feet-his face filled with rage. “Just shut the fuck up, Isa.” He gritted out, the veins in his forehead popping out. “Do you want to know what I can’t stand? You. Your pathetic self. You’re stupid, Isa, you’ve always been. I mean, just look at you.” He gave me a onceover, then went ahead to scoff. “You’re the definition of an idiot, Isa. Can’t you see that?”
His words, they felt like daggers aimed at my heart. With every sentence that leaves his lips, my heart broke even further. I had no words, I could only stare at him awestruck, wondering where this side of his has always been that I somehow couldn’t see before.
This isn’t the man I loved, he isn’t the man that loves and married me. This isn’t him.
He then pointed a finger at me, his face red with repulsion and evident disgust. “I have never loved you, Isa. Not once.” He declared, as if knowing the thoughts in my mind.
He…what? If I thought my heart was chirping away before, then it had shattered completely now. He never loved me?
I swallowed down bitterly, then forced the words that sounded foreign to ears out. “You never loved me?” Then was everything a lie? The marriage, the kind acts of his during our early days, the small acts that kept me going through all these years. “You never loved me, James?”
“Never.” He repeated, staring at me dead in the eye. “I thought I could, but I can’t feel a shred of love or anything towards you. You’re not just an idiot, you’re more. I mean, look at us, Isa. Look at yourself, look at your status and look at mine. Do you think we’re compatible?”
“Oh,” My mouth formed an ‘o’, wondering where those words came from. So, this is where he’s coming from now?
He sighed, running a hand down his face before he met my gaze again. “I cannot be with someone like you, it’s as easy as that. I associate with big people now, and the woman that’s supposed to be by my side is supposed to be someone befitting of such world. Not someone like you from the countryside.” He spat the last part with disgust.
New Book: Back Home to Marry Off Myself
Loredana’s father left the family for his mistress, leaving them to fend for themselves abroad. When life was at its toughest, her father showed up with “good news” after 8 years of absence: To marry off Loredana to a paralyzed son of the wealthy Mendelsohn family.