“Honestly? I didn’t either. I don’t quite understand why what she did made me so angry, but it did,” Misha said. He thought for a moment, then looked back up at all of us. “Yeah, still does.”
“Usually when you have that strong of a reaction toward someone, it’s because they’re showing you something you don’t like about yourself. It’s the same reason Viktor is uncomfortable around our demons. He’s not comfortable around his own and ours serve as a reminder of that. It’s why he asked for his to be removed. Same thing for you, my adorable Russian guardian. There’s some part of the way Giana acted that you see in yourself and you don’t like it,” I said. “Let Stephen help you with it, but don’t stop trying to figure out why it made you angry to begin with so you can learn from it.. Stephen is not here to be your trash compactor,” I said, trying to look at him sternly.
Misha flashed his handsome smile at me. “I would never take advantage of such an opportunity,” he said, innocently. He managed to get the entire sentence out before he laughed, then added, “yeah, that’s a total lie. You’re going to have to set firm boundaries with me, Stephen.”
“Noted,” Stephen said, laughing with him.
Adrik looked between Andrei and Misha. He asked, “are you two able to communicate with each other now?” They both looked at each other, like they’d been caught doing something they shouldn’t have been doing. It made drik laugh. “You’re not in trouble for it. I’ve just noticed a few silent conversations where you seem like you make a decision without saying anything. I’m curious,” he said.
“I don’t think it works the same as you and Sephie or you and Ivan. It’s more like snapshots we can send each other. It just started,” Andrei said. He looked at me, silently asking if he could tell everyone that he and I figured out a way to communicate with each other. I smiled at him, nodding my head. “It’s similar to how Sephie and I communicate. We show each other what we want the other one to see when we look in each other’s heads. It’s
I/2kind of the same with Misha, but since he doesn’t really look in my head, I have to send it to him differently.”
“I know you and Sephie figured out a way to communicate. I caught your signals to each other,” Adrik said, winking at me. “But since you two are the same, it makes sense. I’m impressed that you figured out a way to communicate with Misha.”
Andrei looked slightly relieved, his handsome smile stretching across his face. Misha added, “it’s getting easier the more we practice at it. I haven’t figured out yet how it would work with Stephen, but there’s gotta be a way with him, too. Everything got stronger when Stephen broke Armando.”
“Have you started to feel Ivan the same way you felt Adrik after that happened?” I asked.
“Not as much. Boss is stronger. Not as strong as you, but he’s a close second now. Maybe it has to do with anger. Maybe Ivan needs to go nuclear and then it’ll be stronger for him, too,” Misha said. “Or maybe we feel Boss more strongly because your connection to him is strenger and it comes through from you, spider monkey,” Andrei said.
“Both theories make sense, honestly. I have no idea what it actually is. I like it though,” I said, grinning at all of them.
“Do you think Viktor is going to feel left out that he doesn’t have as strong of connection to the rest of us?” Misha asked.
I sighed. “Kostya told me he prefers it that way and I have to agree with him Viktor has so much on his mind at any given point that having to deal with the hot mess that is me feels very overwhelming to him. Kostya even said that the little bit he has felt from me has almost been too much for him.” I stopped what I was doing, looking at Adrik first, then at the other four. I think it’s harder to take because everything is so strong between us and we all enjoy it. We just want Viktor to be a part of that.”
Adrik walked up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. “Viktor is a big boy. He made his choice and we need to respect that. Kostya told Sephie that he’s still all in, so until he does something to make me question that, I’m operating as if he’s all in. He has a very specific gift. If he doesn’t want to be a part of the rest of it, then he doesn’t need to be. I think between the rest of us, we can make any situation work.”
“If his connection to Sephie isn’t as strong, he might not be of any help in other situations anyway,” Ivan said. “That might be by design, now that I think about it.”
I chewed on my bottom lip, trying to find more answers when I didn’t really know the questions. “I feel like I want to protect Viktor from everything weird happening now. Like now I’m not sure he can handle it,” I said.
“I think that will get better once I figure out how to help him with his trauma. When you have unresolved trauma, any little thing suddenly becomes a very big thing. If he’s still struggling that much with his time in prison, then he’s not able to handle anything else. He got rid of the grief, which clouded everything, but it also uncovered other stuff he hasn’t dealt with,” Stephen said.
I smiled at Stephen. “You’re so wise, Stephen. I’m glad you finally decided to show everyone.”
Sephie
Stephen surprised both Misha and I by asking if he could go with us for a run the next morning. “I figure I need to take advantage of it now while you’re still keeping it short and slower so I can ease myself into it. I know Boss doesn’t like the idea of just Misha running with you when we’re at the penthouse, but he might eventually warm up to the idea of both of us going with you. I just need to get better at it.” “That, my favorite enabler, might be one of the more thoughtful things anyone has done for me lately,” I said.
The three of us set out for a short run. Misha, who used to dread going the long route at the house, was now slightly disappointed that we were taking the short route. I could feel his sullen mood before we left the house. “Don’t worry, my adorable Russian guardian. My lung is getting better really quickly. We’ll be able to go the long route again soon,” I said, h ooking my arm through his as we walked around the pool and past the gardens.
“I never thought I would be disappointed with the short route, but here we are” he said, laughing at himself.
Stephen was able to keep up without much trouble the entire time. It wasn’t as easy for him as it was for Misha, but Misha had also started out much in the same spot as Stephen was in now too. As we slowed to a walk, Stephen said, “I’m probably going to regret that tomorrow.”
I was still working to catch my breath, but managed to say, “you’ll be fine, Stephen. You kept up the whole way.” Misha looked down at me, suddenly alarmed that I hadn’t caught my breath yet. I smiled at him, but stopped walking to try to make it easier. “I’m okay. I’m not panicking,” I assured them. I just needed a minute of not moving.
Misha glanced at Stephen, clearly worried. Misha hadn’t seen me not be able to catch my breath before. He was used to me running for hours and barely breaking a sweat. I could feel his worry turning to panic with each second that I struggled to control my breathing. “You’re not helping,” I said, in between breaths.
“I can’t help it, gazelle. I’ve never seen you like this. I don’t know what to do and I don’t like it,” Misha said. “I think I should carry you back to the house,” he said. “Boss is going to kill me if you come back broken.”
“He makes a solid argument there, Seph. It’s easier for you to catch your breath if you’re not moving. It’ll also help him feel less panicked, which will help you feel less panicked. I can see the white swirling in your eyes, but I think it’s from Misha, not you,” Stephen said.
“How?” I asked, as Misha squatted down in front of me so I could hop on his back.
New Book: Back Home to Marry Off Myself
Loredana’s father left the family for his mistress, leaving them to fend for themselves abroad. When life was at its toughest, her father showed up with “good news” after 8 years of absence: To marry off Loredana to a paralyzed son of the wealthy Mendelsohn family.