“OK, now Jessie, don’t be mad at me, but Dean and I caught him out with someone about a month ago when you were going to a conference. Dean confronted him and then asked me not to say anything because he swore that Mark was just with a friend and that it was nothing. Mark said that they were just friends hanging out since you were gone and it was innocent. I questioned it but Dean and Mark swore to me it was nothing.” she said.
“Amy, first of all, if it was innocent to them, then why did they hide it? Secondly, as my friend, even if it was true, then you should have told me. Third, I would be questioning why Dean wanted you to hide something from your best friend, someone you’ve known longer than him. I am done talking about this because now I have a headache. I am taking space to think, please just leave me in peace because I don’t want to talk to any of you right now.” I hung up the phone before she could try to keep me on the line and then turned my phone off.
Right now, I don’t want to see or hear from anyone or anything because my trust has been fractured with my friend now too. How could she help hide this even if she thought it was innocent? Amy and I have been friends for years and we did everything together, but now I am not sure what I need except to just get past this day and start fresh with a clear head tomorrow. I climbed out of the tub, threw on a pair of comfy shorts and a tank top and climbed into bed. I was out as soon as my head hit the pillow.
I opened my eyes the next morning and sat up quickly wondering where I was, just as the memories of the previous day flooded in. What I wanted to do was curl back up into the bed wrapped in my blanket and just hide. It felt like my whole world just fell apart, and in reality, it did. I had planned my last few years around a life with Mark. I was just thankful I finished school when it was so easy to put my degree on hold and we were merging our lives together. Mark was employed as a manager in a local office, he enjoyed his 9-5 job and having his weekends off. He had contemplated going back to school but decided he was happy where he was at his job. I finished my Masters Degree in Social Work not long after we got married and worked at a local school, but I had been playing around with starting my own practice, so I had more control over my schedule. While I loved children, I also wanted to broaden my horizons and had talked with Mark about this more lately because I was thinking about cutting back on my work hours to focus on forming my business.
Mark seemed supportive of this but he had been delaying me starting this when I wanted to start at the beginning of this school year. “Babe, I love this idea for you, but let’s wait a bit longer before you do this. I could never get him to give me a reason, but looking back now, I wonder if it was because he thought he could predict my schedule working at a school. I rolled my eyes, not giving him any more thought, and got up to start some coffee and jump in the shower. Time to start figuring things out, girl. I said to myself, I am not going to give him the power to take over all my thoughts.
As I shut my hotel room door, I turned on my phone and decided I was going to head to the library where I would have quiet to focus on where I was going to go from there. I had made the decision to talk to an attorney to see what my options were. All I wanted was to take what was mine and walk away. I didn’t want to drag this out because I wanted to forget this part of my life now. My phone going off made me stop from walking out of the hotel. I looked down and saw numerous texts from Mark which I deleted and then I came across one from my best friend, Amy. Mixed feelings flooded me. While I wanted to just call her and vent to her my frustrations and pain, I also remembered her response to me yesterday. I just put my phone back in my purse and walked to my car determined to just focus on what I needed to get done today. I stopped off at a local coffee shop and got a muffin and a cup of coffee and then drove to the local library.
Armed with coffee and a laptop, I researched local divorce attorneys and sent out a couple of messages to see if any would be willing to provide a consultation appointment. I figured out that with the ones that responded I would ask around to see if anyone had any recommendations for who I should use, since I didn’t have any knowledge of good local attorneys. I never thought I would have to take this route in my life, but here I am trying to stumble my way through. After making some notes in my notebook, I next set out to research places to stay. I was not sure if I wanted to stay close to keep my job or look at moving away from here and starting my business like I had been wanting to do. Nothing was popping out at me in the surrounding area, so I decided to start researching away from Tennessee. I loved the scenery here but now I think it is time to look somewhere else. I had thought about moving to Georgia a long time ago while I was in high school. I just loved the gorgeous older homes there and imagined living out in the country surrounded by trees, nature, and silence.
With determination, I started looking at jobs and places to live in Georgia, and then I found a job at a school in Georgia looking for social workers in a local school. Maybe this could tide me over while I work on building up my own practice and it is in a perfect area where there is plenty of outdoor space to go for quiet and silence when I just want to think. Thomasville, Georgia looks good, so I started looking for a place to stay after I applied and attached a resume, then I started going through some options if I got this job.
As I was scrolling through houses and apartments to rent, my cell phone went off again. It was a random number so I took the risk and answered the call, praying it was not Mark, Dean or Amy trying to talk to me. “Hello, I am trying to reach Jessie Bern,” a male voice asked on the line.
New Book: Back Home to Marry Off Myself
Loredana’s father left the family for his mistress, leaving them to fend for themselves abroad. When life was at its toughest, her father showed up with “good news” after 8 years of absence: To marry off Loredana to a paralyzed son of the wealthy Mendelsohn family.