His mouth thinned into a grim line and his jawed tightened. He glared at me, and I glared back. “You’re being unreasonable. I can protect them.”
“From who? Me?”
His anger faded to hurt. “You think I’d do that to you?”
“I don’t know what to think. I’d appreciate it if you’d leave my home.” I stood, holding on to the counter until I had my bearings.
“Caro, don’t do this.”
“Don’t do what?”
“Let’s discuss this. Talk about it.”
“You’re not adopting them. There’s nothing to discuss. They’re my children.”
With his face a tense mask, he stood and strode toward the front door. I followed him. With his hand on the knob, he turned and said grimly, “They’re my children, too, Caro. Don’t you forget that. Nothing will stand in my way of being their father. Nothing.”
I believed him. I also believed I was being the stubborn one, yet I couldn’t help myself. Instead of calling him back for a civil discussion, I let him go.
The room was empty and lonely the second he left. As if all the joy had been sucked out of it with his final words. He hadn’t delivered a threat, he’d delivered a promise.
**Easton**
Right after New Year’s Day, the team left on another road trip, and I was somewhat relieved to get out of town and away from my problems with Caro. The road trip gave me the time to clear my head and study the situation with a logical eye.
Caro thought I was the enemy, and I was far from the enemy. We both wanted what was best for Hailey and Heath. Couldn’t she see we shouldn’t be at odds?
I’d gone over and over our argument in my head until I was driving myself crazy. The only time I was able to banish her from my mind was on the ice. Our first away game of the road trip was with New Jersey. We played a hard-fought game but lost by one goal. Afterward the locker room was quiet. We hadn’t played well, and we were mad at ourselves. I’d played like crap, one of my worst games so far as an NHL player. Kaden and Steele hadn’t played any better. In fact, the entire team had been sluggish and uninspired.
Coach Gorst entered the room, flanked by his assistants. They were all grim-faced. We hung our heads low and waited for the dressing-down to come, and come it did. Gorst laid into us, berated us for sloppy puck handling, careless passes, shots so far off the net we appeared to be shooting for the glass. We deserved it, all of it.
None of us said a word as Gorst paced the floor and ranted. Not one guy was immune to his anger. He rattled off examples of crappy play by each one of us, not even stopping once to consult his clipboard. He’d committed our transgressions to memory. He stopped to take a breath during his tirade, and you could hear a pin drop in the locker room, except for-
I took a chance and glanced around the room as did several others.
What the fuck was that noise?
“Frontier! Are you snoring?” Coach whipped around and jabbed a finger at the offending player. A few of my teammates snickered and earned a scathing glare from the coach, which shut them up fast.
All heads turned to our backup goalie, Jacques “Jock” Frontier. He was a seasoned veteran who never caused problems, a real team player, always helping us young guys. Jock jerked to attention.
“Uh, sorry, Coach.” The man’s face flushed with embarrassment. I can say in all honesty, every one of us was grateful Gorst’s wrath wasn’t focused on us.
“Sorry? You’re sorry? What the fuck does that mean? You’re sorry you’re not fully engaged with this team enough to listen to what I have to say? You’ve disrespected me, your coaches, your teammates, and yourself.”
Poor Jock slouched lower on the bench and studied his feet. His face was flushed bright red. I felt sorry for him, but I kept my sympathy to myself. Nobody crossed Gorst when he was in one of his moods.
Gorst barked out a few more words, then stomped from the locker room with his assistants in tow.
Next to me, Jock rubbed his eyes. I noticed he had big bags under them. He was one of those quiet guys who was often forgotten. He went about his job and never asked for attention or praise. “Not sleeping?” I asked.
“I have five little kids. What do you think?”
“I think sleep would be a luxury.”
He nodded. “I look forward to road trips.”
“I can understand that.”
I didn’t know much about Jock. He was in his late thirties, and he rarely attended team events. His wife didn’t come to any of his games or hang out with the other WAGs, but with five kids, no one questioned her absence. I certainly didn’t.
“Don’t get me wrong. I love my kids, but it’s hard with that many.”
“I’m sorry he nailed you like that.”
“I deserved it.” Jock shrugged. “I hear you’re a new father. How’s that going?” Typical Jock, he took the focus off him and put it on others.
“It’s going well with the kids, but they don’t know I’m their father yet.”
“Oh, that’s rough. When are you planning on telling them?”
“As soon as their mother approves it.” I sounded more irritated than I meant to. Jock arched a brow at me but didn’t say much.
“You’ll find fatherhood is the most rewarding and most challenging thing you’ve ever done. Playing in the NHL is far easier.”
“I believe you.”
“Enjoy every beautiful, frustrating moment. They grow up too fast.”
“I will. I’ve missed enough as it is.” Once again, bitterness crept into my voice.
“You might want to get over that attitude before it affects your children. Forgive and move on. They’re here now, and that’s what matters.”
“I’m trying.”
“Try harder.” Jock gave me a sad smile and moved to his locker to get out of his gear. I watched him go and wondered how a man with a loving family could be so sad.
**Caroline**
The new year was almost three weeks old.
Nothing was resolved between Easton and me. In fact, he avoided being alone with me as I did him. While we hadn’t discussed it, we appeared to be taking a break from each other, and I couldn’t say if this break was temporary or permanent. I was dealing with a lot of emotional shit, trying to get my head on straight, and I’d started classes at a nearby college.
I’d backed off and allowed Easton to take the kids without requiring my presence. It was easier on both of us this way. I also gave the school permission for Easton to pick them up after school on occasion. If Hailey and Heath thought it was weird they spent so much time with a friend of the family, they never voiced their concerns.
Guilt hung over my head like the gray clouds dominating the Seattle skies, and I labored to find the sunshine. Guilt over deceiving my children about Easton. Guilt over betraying my dead husband. Guilt over forgetting Fran and Howard over Christmas. And most of all, heart-wrenching guilt at my weak-willed heart to fall once again for a certain sexy hockey player.
New Book: Back Home to Marry Off Myself
Loredana’s father left the family for his mistress, leaving them to fend for themselves abroad. When life was at its toughest, her father showed up with “good news” after 8 years of absence: To marry off Loredana to a paralyzed son of the wealthy Mendelsohn family.