His eyes are blood red, this isn’t Ryker, it’s his wolf. Like this, he’s dangerous and not in a fun way. This must be the last view his victims see. My heart rate speeds up. Is he going to kill me? Did they decide they don’t want or need me and it would just be easier to kill me, than reject me and send me home?I don’t want to die, but I still don’t feel afraid of him either.
He leans in close, touching his nose to mine. His chest is heaving.”You do not make demands of us. We answer to no one. You belong to us, this is your home now. You aren’t going anywhere, so you might as well get that idea out of your head.” His movements don’t match his words. His words are harsh and demanding, but he’s tracing my face slowly with the tip of his nose, gliding his hands up and down my bare arms with a featherlight touch, like a lover. I’m so confused and overstimulated.
“You…you…don’t want…me.” I whisper and stop breathing when he pauses at the crook of my neck again and takes a deep breath in. “Just find out how to reject me and both of us can be put out of our misery.” I whisper. “You can be with whoever you want then.”
“What we want is for our mate to stop being difficult and follow directions.” He squeezes my arms and presses his hips closer to me. I can feel all of his weight leaning into me. If I bent my elbows, I would be able to touch his chiseled torso. Glide my fingers over every curve of defined muscle. I ball my hands into fists to keep them to myself. He grinds into me again and lets out a satisfied breath.
“I won’t stay here isolated from people.” I just have to keep talking. He can’t mess with my head if I keep talking. My body is screwed, though. I am so wound up and s*xually frustrated. It’s been over a month since I have gotten laid, thanks to my guy friends. And Ryker, or his wolf, or both are breaking down my very fragile walls. I can’t figure him out though. He says and acts like he doesn’t want me, but like this his body tells me a different story.
“You will do whatever we tell you to do, little lamb.” He rubs his pelvis against mine, hitting my oversensitive bundle of nerves, mouth right behind my ear. I bite my lip and squeeze my fists to try and hold in a moan at the feel of him pressed into me, but I’m not successful. I can feel him smile against my neck, he knows what he’s doing to me. He shifts his hand to stroke himself, still pressed against me. His knuckles brush my cl*t on every pass and I am vibrating. “You will follow directions like a good girl and maybe we will finish this little game.” He runs the tip of his tongue from the base of my neck up to the sweet spot behind my ear. It is so light and quick, I almost can’t believe it happened, but my whole body shuddered and my p*ssy gushed and before I could do anything else, he was gone.
Kennedy
I leaned up against the glass trying to gain my breath and the use of my legs. Why have the two best s*xual encounters of my life been with a man who has barely touched me? When I regain the use of my legs and my senses, I strip and grab my favorite vibrator and get in the shower. Part of me hopes he hears it and part of me is embarrassed that he got to me so easily and really doesn’t want to inflate his ego.
After three rounds of imagining all the different ways I could take Ryker in the shower, my body was finally spent. It’s amazing how vivid my imagination is when he is the subject. I may break the rechargeable battery if I keep this up. I crawl into bed and my mood quickly changes as I get ready for the dreams, hoping I’m too tired for them to be really bad.
I have been alright so far, better than I thought anyway. My nightmares have morphed once again and this time I am not in the dream first hand, but watching from the outside as a spectator. The emotions don’t follow either, so I don’t wake up screaming, just sad at the loss. I have a voice that sounds a lot like Rayna in the back of my head telling me it’s my proximity to Ryker, or more likely his scent, that is helping keep my mind calm. Me and my inside voice are going to agree to disagree. He can’t be helpful and an asshole. It’s got to be me finally getting used to the trauma and finally processing and accepting that this is my life, without my parents…and my friends. That’s what I will keep telling myself anyway. I am growing up and my subconscious is finally getting on board with the program.
I wish I could call and talk to Jer or Ben or Rayna about it. Hell, I would settle for talking to Tommy. But, I haven’t had contact with any of them since I have been here and I don’t know if that’s because they are busy living their lives and really don’t have the time, or if it’s Ryker and his stupid ‘keep me contained’ rules. Thinking it’s the latter helps me stay angry with him as I get ready and head downstairs. I have told Bennet to let them know that I am okay, if he’s allowed to talk to them on my behalf. He hasn’t said anything so I don’t know. I have no idea how any of this works and it feels stupid to need a middle man for me to talk to my brother, but it’s where I’m at right now.
I notice a couple bruises on my torso as I get dressed. I thought I would have one from Rykers shoulder, but I’m not sure how I got the others. They aren’t super dark or big. I must have bumped into something or maybe I flopped around Ryker’s shoulder more than I thought. I didn’t feel great the last couple of days, but that could be anything. My whole schedule is off so maybe I am getting sick. I’ll just have to watch it and maybe do extra tea for a few days, or talk to Robin about seeing a healer.
I head into the breakfast room to find a lot more people than normal. Usually the warriors that are up this early have already eaten and are out on patrol. I try to time my breakfast so I’m not in the way of the guys protecting the pack. For all of Ryker’s demands and complaining, I really don’t leave the packhouse much. I know how important these warriors are and their job is demanding. I schedule everything I do around their jobs and duties to the pack so I’m not in the way. I haven’t really figured out my role here so ‘out of the way’ is my go to mentality.
I make a plate and look around at all the tables. Normally I would sit with Bennet and a few of the warriors, but I don’t know what happened after Ryker left me yesterday. As much as I am willing to defy Ryker at every turn strictly to piss him off, I won’t do anything to jeopardize anyone else’s position or job. And information always has a way of getting back to the Alpha, even when he isn’t here. I don’t know what he told them about me staying away from them or being stuck in the packhouse, but he would take it out on them, just like threatening Jensen yesterday. Who I notice isn’t at breakfast and my heart sinks a little. I?hope Ryker didn’t really beat him for not being able to find me yesterday. I don’t want any of them guilty by
Bennet gives me a tired smile and tries to wave me over, he’s been out all night running down any other potential threats. I just shake my head and his face falls in concern as I turn towards a lone high top table in the back corner. These guys should be out of here soon and I’ll take a seat then. He looks at me confused, but I just keep walking. I sit, but I can’t have my back to the room out of habit, so I am stuck here watching people. They come and go while trying and failing to not look at me sitting alone in the corner of the room and whispering more? rumors.
I’m mentally going through the things I can do for school today and I have to remember to ask Robin about my laptop and my phone. Even if she has to give me new ones, it will be a little more freedom and it’s been long enough. I am probably so behind and that is making my skin crawl. Being able to study on my balcony on days when the weather is good would be nice too. I love that the office she’s letting me use has so many windows. I feel less cooped up and can watch the forest change throughout the day, but just knowing I’m not ‘allowed’ out is what’s stifling.
A high pitched giggle breaks me from my thoughts and my attention is drawn towards the entrance to the breakfast room. Ryker walks in with Amy in tow. She looks disheveled and well f*cked. Did she stay with him last night after he left me angry and frustrated? I don’t know why it bothers me. It shouldn’t, we aren’t together no matter what the Moon Goddess wants. But after his speech about me staying away from warriors, he could do the same with females, at least in public.It’s embarrassing enough that everyone knows he doesn’t want me and plans on rejecting me.
“Ryker, you are so serious in the morning. I can help you cheer up if your needs aren’t being met.” She coos loud enough for the whole room to hear and looks right at me. Ryker follows her line of sight, looks a little surprised to see me, looks around the room and then back to me. Noticing that I am leaving ‘his pack’ alone like he asked. Maybe the gesture will be enough for him to be nice to me. That’s a lot to ask though.
I roll my eyes even though my stomach has dropped into my feet. Yeah, asshole. I did as you asked and stayed away from your warriors. Maybe you should show the same respect. I raise my eyebrow in a dare, trying to convey all my irritation. I know it’s seen as a challenge, but I will not break eye contact first. He blinks and turns his head and continues walking toward the buffet table, his brunette bed buddy in tow petting him and talking incessantly. I take in and let out a slow breath and grab my plate. I’m not going to sit here and watch him be fawned over by another female while I’m in the room, when I’m not even allowed to talk to my friends, just because they are guys. Some mate he is.
I walk by Bennet’s table, he reaches out to stop me. I step away from him, I don’t want him to get yelled at because of me.
“Hey, where are you going? Why aren’t you sitting with us?” I close my eyes and sigh. Why does he have to be so nice?
“Did you not get the memo? Apparently, I’m not allowed to spend time with any of you anymore. I am distracting you all from your real jobs, I get people injured and apparently I talk to too many male warriors.” I let my voice get louder as I speak. “Which is also seen as flirting and is disrespectful to my mate. I will be in my office or my room for the foreseeable future, you may want to find something to do with your time, you are going to be really bored.” With that I turned and left. I take deep breaths to swallow the lump in my throat, blinking rapidly. I will get through this and he doesn’t deserve my tears.
Ryker’s going to have to catch me if he wants to yell at me for making a scene in the breakfast room. I head straight to the office and sit on the little couch. I’m not hungry at all anymore. I shouldn’t let him affect me, he does. I haven’t thought about being with anyone but him since we met at Rayna’s party. When I think of? but?dating or being with anyone, his is the only face I see. He is so immune to me that he can walk in with a female on his arm, probably after spending all night with her, and not spare me more than a glance. He feels nothing. This is what all the rumors about him say. I thought the mate bond was supposed to make your mate irresistible, but maybe it’s because I am a human and don’t have a wolf. Maybe there is no pull to me like Jeremiah has to Rayna.?9
I pick at my food for a little bit, I need to eat, I can’t afford to get sick and look even weaker to Ryker. Maybe I will go to the gym and run on the treadmill before I start my school work, just to clear my head. I can’t be distracted by him with another woman, even if it is Amy. He doesn’t want me, I know that. But he literally could have picked anyone other than her. I just wish he wouldn’t give me mixed signals. Last night it was like he and his wolf were fighting about being close to me. I figure the mate thing probably compels his wolf to want to be near me. But they don’t want a weak human. I shake my head. He’s not worth this amount of space in my head. Focus Ken. I will get through this.
There’s a soft knock on the door. The only person who doesn’t just enter is Robin and she’s probably the only person I don’t care about invading my space.
“Come in.” I shove another forkful of food in my mouth, I can’t have her worried about me and distracted from her actual job. I can’t have the only people who are nice to me angry because I get them in trouble with their alpha.
“Hey, I saw you leave. Is there anything you need?” I know she saw Amy walk in with Ryker, but she’s trying to bypass that part of the conversation.
“I’m fine. The alpha can do whatever he wants as he has pointed out several times. If she is what he wants, there isn’t a lot I can do to stop him.” My stomach drops as I say that, but I school my features.
“He’s just…”
New Book: Back Home to Marry Off Myself
Loredana’s father left the family for his mistress, leaving them to fend for themselves abroad. When life was at its toughest, her father showed up with “good news” after 8 years of absence: To marry off Loredana to a paralyzed son of the wealthy Mendelsohn family.