I swallowed hard, unable to maintain the connection. My eyes slipped away, seeking refuge.
“Please, Sav.”
Words eluded me. I had always been open with Alyssa, my favorite sibling, sharing my thoughts without hesitation. But now, I felt paralyzed. How could I convey the complexity of my feelings?
As if she could sense my turmoil, she added, “I’m not going to judge you. Look around, am I really in a position to judge anyone?”
The corner of my mouth twitched, almost forming a bitter smile, but it never fully materialized.
I inhaled deeply, deciding to unravel my thoughts slowly.
“It’s not Roman,” I whispered, my voice barely audible.
She let out a breath, relief washing over her like a balm. “Thank goodness. I’m relieved to hear that.”
I looked down at my lap, plucking at imaginary lint on my clothes. “It’s Dean.”
Instantly, her expression morphed into one of pity, a look I loathed receiving from anyone. I quickly averted my gaze.
“Don’t look at me like that.”
“No, Sav. I understand you. Damn, we’re literally living in the same hell. I don’t pity you. I sympathize with you,” she rushed out, her sincerity cutting through the tension in the room.
My ears perked up, curiosity piquing despite my reluctance.
“You’re still in love with Emily’s dad?” I blurted, disbelief coloring my tone.
She dropped her shoulders, a resigned acceptance in her posture. “Isn’t it obvious?”
Mortification washed over me, and I recoiled. “How? I mean, why? Should you?” The words tumbled out, barely restrained. “He’s married, Alyssa.”
She remained unfazed, her resolve unwavering. “They’re about to be divorced. He told me himself.”
Disgust bubbled up inside me before I could contain it. “You spoke with him?”
“We met.” A smile broke across her face, bright and genuine, and the sight twisted my stomach into knots. “I just wanted to let him know that I wasn’t going to let him take my daughter away from me. I informed him that Roman was ready to back me up in court.”
A dark, ugly feeling coiled low in my stomach-a vile sensation that felt disturbingly like jealousy.
Its bitter, metallic taste lingered under my tongue, refusing to be ignored.
“Well, Chloe’s rebellion sort of brought us back together,” she continued, her smile wide and unguarded. “He actually had no intentions of taking her away. He just wanted to connect with us. And strangely, Chloe helped make that happen.”
I struggled to comprehend her words. “What are you saying?”
“He’s leaving his wife, Sav.” Her tone took on a dreamy quality. “She couldn’t give him what he needed most. So he’s divorcing her. He wants to be present in Emily’s life now.”
Bile rose in my throat, a sickening wave of incredulity. “Are you serious?”
“I haven’t said yes yet,” she added quickly, “but it’s good to know that he isn’t going to cause any problems-“
“Are you out of your mind?” My voice cracked, louder than I intended, and my chest heaved with the weight of my words. “Shouldn’t you be pressing forward with a lawsuit against this guy? You should make him pay through the nose for neglecting Emily for five years! That’s his daughter.” My pulse raced as I leaned forward, unable to contain my anger. “You shouldn’t be sitting here smiling as if everything is okay. And divorce? Come on, Alyssa, put yourself in her shoes. She’s a woman. Just like you.”
Alyssa flinched as if I had struck her, a quick, involuntary recoil. Her eyes shut briefly, and when they opened again, something colder flickered within them.
The next words she spoke were quiet but sharp enough to slice right through me.
“Did you put yourself in Monica’s shoes when you slept with her husband, Sav?”
Her words struck me like a sudden chill, freezing my very essence. I felt the warmth of my blood turn to ice, coursing through my veins as if winter had seeped into my soul.
Memories, long buried and hidden away in the darkest corners of my mind, clawed their way back to the surface, taunting me mercilessly under the unforgiving light of day.
My mouth felt parched, my tongue glued to the roof as if it were a physical manifestation of my dread.
She knew she had struck a nerve-a sensitive spot that was better left untouched. But the silence that enveloped us was a fragile one, ready to shatter.
“I’m not here to judge you, Sav,” she began, her voice steady but laced with concern. “I understand you had your reasons. We’ve all stumbled, made choices we wish we could take back. I know you regret what happened, but-“
“That’s enough.” I raised my hand, a gesture of finality. “I need a moment alone. Please.”
Alyssa turned to face me fully, her expression shifting. “Wait, are you seriously kicking me out of your room right now?”
“Please, Alyssa. You’ve said more than enough already.”
Her lips parted, as if she were about to unleash a torrent of words, but they faltered, caught in the web of her thoughts. Slowly, she rose from her seat, her gaze pinning me in place-a mix of pity and challenge swirling in her eyes.
“You can’t just ignore this topic and expect it to vanish, Sav. It won’t. Sure, I made a mistake, but I’m not going to pretend it never happened. Emily is proof of that wrong turn I took in my life.” She pressed on, her voice firm yet compassionate.
“Sometimes, the only way to find closure is to confront the challenge head-on. It takes guts, you know? That’s basic therapy 101.”
I let out a scoff, bitterness lacing my tone. “Good thing I’ve never been one to bare my soul to strangers.”
“Exactly. You hide behind your jokes and sarcasm so that no one can see the real you-the one that’s bleeding inside.” Her words were sharp, cutting through the layers I had built around myself.
But she didn’t understand. I wasn’t bleeding. I was keeping the wound sealed tight, determined to never let it fester again.
“You had an affair with your professor while he was still married. That doesn’t mean you have to wear it like a crown of shame for the rest of your life,” she said, her voice softening but still resolute.
I folded my hands over my knees, my heart racing. “You don’t know anything about what really happened.” My tone was final, a wall rising between us.
“I know enough,” she insisted, her gaze unwavering.
New Book: Back Home to Marry Off Myself
Loredana’s father left the family for his mistress, leaving them to fend for themselves abroad. When life was at its toughest, her father showed up with “good news” after 8 years of absence: To marry off Loredana to a paralyzed son of the wealthy Mendelsohn family.